


Dreams // Sabriel High School AU

by Useless_Fanfictions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Destiel, Big Brother Dean, Car Accidents, Caring!Gabriel, Coma, Comatose Gabriel, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Depression, Destiel is sad at first, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Everything is sad at first, F/M, Guilty Castiel (Supernatural), Hospitals, Hurt!Gabriel, Hurt!Sam, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Making Out, Older Sibling Anna Milton, Older Sibling Castiel, Sabriel - Freeform, Self-Hatred, Self-Pity, Soulmates, Strange Connection, Upset Dean Winchester, Younger Sibling Gabriel (Supernatural), at first, mean Winchester boys, protective!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-06-08 12:30:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 40,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15243435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_Fanfictions/pseuds/Useless_Fanfictions
Summary: “Do you remember the accident?” Gabriel watched his family, watched them stop, and wait for his answer.Accident? No. He blinked twice.“The accident you were in when you were driving home late and had swerved to miss an oncoming car and the both of you crashed? Do you remember now?”That accident? The accident that put him in the hospital for three weeks, broke his arm, and made him scared to get behind the wheel? That accident? That was over a year ago. So many things have happened to him since then. He’d healed, he’d gone back to school, he’d met Sam since then.He blinked once for yes.“Well, that was well over a year ago…” She trailed off, waiting for his reaction.Well duh. I already know this. He blinks once.“Oh, Gabriel,”~~~Or the one where Gabriel gets himself in a car accident and has to deal with the consequences. Which are dealing with separating his reality from the dreamland he made up when he had been in a coma. His dreams had included his life at home, school, and with his boyfriend Sam Winchester - who was, in fact, not real. (Tags are updated as the story progresses)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is longer than the others I have written thus far, but I will continue writing other stuff and so this will be updated when I get the chance. I am looking for a beta reader if anyone is available. 
> 
> I have a lot of ideas for this fic and plan to finish it eventually. :) My point is to stick with it because it will get better. 
> 
> All kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

**Prologue**

_ Gabriel Novak was driving on an almost empty road on his way home from a friend’s house after staying the weekend there. This friend was Charlie Bradbury, who would later blame herself for what happened to him. She felt had they not been playing World of Warcraft for so long, he wouldn’t have been driving in the dark, and wouldn’t have been so tired and be trying to get home quickly.  _

_ Like she knew any of this was going to happen.  _

_ He’s only been on the road for a couple of weeks now, he enjoyed the feeling of freedom, being able to get in his car and drive, it was liberating. The car he was driving was a gift from his eldest brother Michael, more like he had gone out and bought himself a new vehicle and gave away the old, slightly rusting, 2002 silver Buick.   _

_ It was dark out, the road thin but straight, and only a block and a half before he was home. Maybe it was the fact that he was almost home, but he started thinking more and more about how he would explain to his parents why he was out so late, or how he couldn’t wait till he was in bed sleeping.  _

_ Only the third car he passed on his voyage home, an easy-sounding with dark paint, was driving towards Gabriel. It wasn’t like Gabriel had panicked or anything, but more like had the real sudden realization that he was slightly swerving in and out of his lane.  _

_ The car in front of him - almost to him at this point - honked and Gabriel swerved to the right to miss him. This only caused his car to slip on the wet asphalt from the evening’s rain. His tail end smashed into the side of the other car, Gabriel jerked to the left, only too late realized his hands were still gripping tightly to the steering wheel.  _

_ His voice got caught in his throat in an ugly, gurgling, half yell. As the front of the car smashed into the ditch, tipping the back wheels off the ground, urine soaked into his pants, only staying warm for a little while in the cold October night. His head rammed forward into his own hands on the steering wheel.  _

_ Had he not been wearing the seat belt, he would have flown through the windshield and almost surely broken his neck, instead, he only had a bad head injury and a shallow cut from the edge of the seat belt where it dug into his neck. He laid there unconscious.  _

_ On the opposite side of the road, however, the couple in the front seat didn’t make it out so lucky. The front of the car was smashed, bent around the trunk of a tree. Multiple billows of smoke arose from under the front of the crumbled bumper. The sobs of the driver could be heard over the low rumble of the engine slowly fading out. The driver - the husband to the passenger - will walk away from this with some whiplash and a broken ankle from where it got crushed between the pedals. His wife suffered the worst of the two.  _

_ The car had run into a road sign - a no passing zone sign - and the end of the pole had been longed through the windshield, busting through the glass like paper and the tip of it touched the backseat, after going all of the way through her stomach.  _

_ Gabriel - unconscious across the road, in the hand-me-down car from his brother - sat blissfully unaware as the man sat awake, watching as the life drained from his wife’s body. It was only minutes later that he fell into unconsciousness, his head, and slightly swollen neck laid against the steering wheel. His tears continued to trail down his cheeks.   _

_ Three minutes later a neighbor, who’d woken up from the squealing of tires, called 911, reporting the accident that ruined two families that evening.  _

_ Eventually, when the man woke again in the hospital, he felt sorry when he heard it was a kid. A new driver on the road, it was purely an accident. But when he learned what had happened to his wife, his feelings towards the inexperienced driver turned sour. _

 


	2. Chapter One // Gabriel

**Chapter One // Gabriel**

It was on what he thought was his own porch, that his world would shatter. Gabriel Novak wrapped his arms tighter around the waist of his much taller boyfriend, Sam. He smiled and snuggled his cheek further into Sam’s chest, his hands grabbed fistfuls of the back of the older boy’s hoodie. Earlier that day they had finally defined themselves as boyfriends, Gabriel couldn’t stop smiling. 

It had taken a lot to get to where he was at now, a lot of pining, pranks, and feelings. Now, he had a good relationship with everyone, his two older siblings, his boyfriend, his parents and even his friends. Everyone was happy.

After the accident, it was the hardest. Not soon after that, he met Sam Winchester, a new kid at the school he goes to, Gabriel had first seen him while he was in the principal's office because of the latest prank. Sam took one look at him and asked him what he’d been in for. It seemed like love at first sight - if there really was such a thing. 

“Do you really have to go,” as he asks this, Sam’s brother pulls up on the curb. Castiel steps from the passenger seat and walks around the side and kisses Dean through the window. 

“Because it’s a school night,” Sam smirks when Dean honks twice from the road, Gabriel sighs. 

“But…” Gabriel whines. Sam starts to reluctantly pull away. 

With a heavy sigh, the shorter man releases his grip on the hoodie. Castiel passes them on the porch, waves to the car on the street, and goes inside. Sam bends down and kisses his boyfriend, just a quick series of pecks on the lips and Sam’s walking away. 

Sam looks over his shoulder once more before getting the passenger seat, his facial features twisted into a look of disgust. The shorter man was unsure how else to describe it, other than pure disgust. And then, Gabriel thought it was from something Dean might have said, but Sam to not blink for a few moments while he stopped and stared at Gabriel.

The younger boy was frozen, locked in a mixture of shock and unknown fear. Sam stood still for a few more seconds, Gabriel couldn’t look away to see how Dean looked but felt another pair of eyes on him. Sweat pooled in Gabriel’s clenched fists and the hair on his arms and legs stood up. This didn’t feel right, like his life was on pause for a short moment. The pause drawing out longer and longer and becoming even more awkward and unbearable.

The spell was broken when Sam finally opened the door and got into the car - a simple silver 2002 Buick. Dean turned around in his driveway, the passenger side of the car now facing Gabriel and Sam was still looking at Gabriel that way. A wave of emotion flushed through Gabriel and his arms seemed too heavy to move when he tried to wave them goodbye. Maybe he was twisting the look the wrong way?

He seemed to have imagined it, but for a second Sam seem to become even colder. Gabriel had waved at him, Sam didn’t move. All he did was spit out, “God, I hate you.”

Gabriel was once again frozen where he stood. Before he could even ask what he meant, or if he even said anything, the car was pulling away and speeding down the road. He watched it go for a while, even after he could no longer see the dot on the horizon he stood there staring down the road. 

Eventually, he turned around and numbly went to the door. Dread weighed his veins down, almost trying to stop him from going through the door. He had to have heard Sam wrong, there was no other way around it. Maybe it was  _ God, I love you.  _ It was windy, so it must have sounded weird. Gabriel really tried to convince himself. 

The house was dark inside, which was especially weird considering Castiel, Anna, and his parents were all inside and his parents were crazy about sitting in the dark. Gabriel only had a moment to call out to anyone before the door swung closed behind him and he was surrounded by darkness. 

His uneasiness was back.

**~[[SPN]]~**

The bright light made him jerk and squeeze his eyes shut once more, but the small gasp made him open them once more. Air was difficult to pull into his lungs, he tried to push himself up because he heard that you can breathe easier if you were up straight, but his arms were next to useless by his sides. 

Him moving, the bed creaking, and the beeping of the monitors by his head wasn’t helping his headache at all. He couldn’t speak, his throat burned when he swallowed and his vision was blurry along the edges as if he’d just woken up.

The last thing he remembered was the door closing behind him, darkness, and then pain like a bad headache. How did he get here…? After a few blinks he realized two things, one, he was in a hospital room (did he fall down?) and two, his family was waiting anxiously by the foot of his bed with an older woman in a long white coat and a stethoscope. 

Castiel had his arms wrapped around Anna’s shoulders, his parents were hugging and his mother had a hand on the bed by his foot. They’ve all been crying, eyes red and skin blotchy, his mother the worst with her makeup running. She was still in a suit and looks like she came right from her work. His father and siblings the same way, Castiel and Anna’s backpacks were haphazardly thrown off to the side. 

“Don’t try to talk,” the doctor said gently after Gabriel opened his mouth. “The tubes tore up your throat a little and it might be painful.” Gabriel nodded as best as he could. Everything felt sore. 

“Honey…” his mother began, but broke off into a sob, his father held her tighter. 

“How are you feeling?” His elder sibling Castiel asks. 

Anna rubbed her eyes and laughed, “He can’t answer, Cas .”

Gabriel tried to smile, but his face felt weird, the skin refused to stretch at his command, his body was sore and he was very, very tired. He tried to move over in the bed, his legs and arms felt numb, his eyes darting around the room, the monitors continued to beep beside him. After a second or two he realized it was his heart monitor. Things were still a little fuzzy. 

“Okay,” the doctor got his attention. Her name tag read ‘Brenton’ and she had a kind face. “We need to know what’s going on with you, okay? And you can’t speak so I’ll ask you, yes or no questions, blink once for yes and two for no. Do you understand?” 

He blinked once. 

“Do you remember the accident?” Gabriel watched his family, watched them stop, and wait for his answer. 

Accident? No. He blinked twice. 

The last situation he’d been in that even resembled an accident was when he and Sam had been driving to their date and almost hit a deer on a back road. Sam had hit the brakes in time and honked until the animal had run off, scared by the noise. Nothing happened and he’d only told Castiel and Sam’s brother Dean about it when they arrived at their double date with them, it’s what made them late because they’d sat and waited for their adrenaline to calm down before they continued driving. And why does that have to do with him being in the hospital- 

“The accident you were in when you were driving home late and had swerved to miss an oncoming car and the both of you crashed? Do you remember now?” 

That accident? The accident that put him in the hospital for three weeks, broke his arm, and made him scared to get behind the wheel?  _ That accident? _ That was over a year ago. So many things have happened to him since then. He’d healed, he’d gone back to school, he’d met Sam since then. 

He blinked once for yes. 

“Well, that was well over a year ago…” She trailed off, waiting for his reaction. 

_ Well duh. I already know this.  _ He blinks once. 

“Oh, Gabriel,” his mother moaned and turned to her husband’s chest, her shoulders shook with sobs. Anna and Castiel have started crying again. 

Gabriel’s eyes widened, what was wrong with them? Other than a little sluggishness and feeling like he needed to stretch, Gabriel was fine. Why were they so concerned for him? He looked back at the doctor for answers. 

“I don’t think you understand…” The doctor began. “You’ve been in a coma since the accident.” 

All Gabriel did was stare at her, not fully comprehending what she said.  _ That’s not true, I was just with Sam a little bit ago, we were on our porch and I watched him leave-  _

And then he had been surrounded by darkness. 

The coma- 

So everything that’s happened since the accident hasn’t been real. The last year and a half did really happen?  While he’s been thinking that his life has been moving on, Gabriel’s body was actually sitting in a hospital bed, rotting, sitting there unconscious the entire time- 

(Sam.)

A year and a half was a long time. How could he not have been able to tell? When a person is unconscious for that long, shouldn’t they be able to tell? All of his dreams had felt so real.

(Wasn’t real, he-)

_ Sam Winchester wasn’t real.  _

Gabriel broke off in a sob, a weight drifting over him. Heavier before, like a blanket that weighed a lot more than usual, covering him from head to toe. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, his head spun, his eyes fell closed. All of the images of him and what he’s done for the last year and a half have been fake. Trying to wrap his head around that was a lot more difficult than he thought. 

_ Sam wasn’t real.  _

How could the person who helped you so much not exist? 

“Gabriel, honey, are you okay?” the doctor asked, his mother made a choke off noise. Other than that the room’s occupants were silent. 

Gabriel flicked his eyes open as his tears fell. He looked at the doctor - too ashamed or scared to look at his family - and blinked twice for no. 

No, he was not okay. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think so far! Is this something you guys would want me to continue? All comments and kudos are appreciated. <3


	3. Chapter Two // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another huge thanks to the people who took the time to write a comment. I just want you to know you guys are the ones that keep me motivated to write. Without you guys, this story would get nowhere.
> 
> If anyone is interested, I am still looking for a beta-reader! Just someone to look over the chapters before I post them and someone to get ideas from. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter Two // Gabriel**

Life in the hospital wasn’t all that bad, then again, he was only in there for a total of six conscious days. In those days, his family has visited him almost everyday, his mother the most. He loved her to death, but whenever any of her kids got sick or hurt she was all over them, it was very smothering. This wasn’t a bad thing by any means, however, Gabriel grew annoyed with it quickly.

“I’ll get your discharge papers,” the nurse said, she told him he was her favorite patient, but how many others had she said that to?

“Thank you,” his mother answered.

“How do you feel about coming back home, jerkface?” Anna asked him. She was perched at the foot of his bed, facing towards him, and tickling his toes.

“I don’t know, reject, do you still snore like a dying pig at night, because I would rather stay here if that’s the case-” Anna smacks a pillow into his face, cutting off the rest of his insults.

“Children,” their mother said.

It was only the three of them in the room, their father was at work and Castiel was at school. Technically, Anna was supposed to be there too, but she wanted to see her little brother home. More like, she wanted to tease him by the way he still walked with a slight limp.

A doctor came in next. He was an older fellow, slightly balding gray hair and a pointed nose. He wore a white coat, a stethoscope around his neck. “Well, Mr. Novak.” He walked to the side of his bed his mother wasn’t at. “For a while, we weren’t sure you were ever going to wake up.”

This is the second time he’s told Gabriel this, the first time he had asked why he did. The doctor had replied with his brain healed itself enough to regain consciousness. Gabriel wasn’t sure what to make of that, he still kept seeing Sam walk off the porch and get into his brother’s car. The door opening and the darkness-

“But you have fully recovered from your accident while you were out. However, your brain is still a little…” he struggled to find the right word. “We’ll say ‘sore’ from waking up from being asleep for so long.” Gabriel nodded, this was new. “And so there might be a bit of confusion. This is to be expected until you gather your bearings.”

_You mean until I forget about Sam and the world he was in._

“How long until he can return to school?” His mother asked.

Gabriel had forgotten about school, he was behind like two years of high school. He was a freshman when he got into his accident, the rest of the kids from his grade would be juniors this year. Joy.

“That’s up to Gabriel, whenever he feels he is ready. Have you talk to his school about how far behind he’s fallen?”

His mother nodded. “Yes, and they are willing to let him pick up where he left off.”

_Great. A seventeen-year-old freshman._

“Will my head be okay? Any long-term damage?” Gabriel spoke up and asked.

The doctor turned to him and smiled. “As long as you don’t injure your brain anymore, you should be fine. We had feared that there was more nerve damage, but we hadn’t needed to go into surgery at all. So stay safe, and you’ll be okay.”

The nurse came in with his discharge papers. They packed up and left, Gabriel in a wheelchair and Anna pushing him. He didn’t need it, he’d been walking around his room quite a bit these past six days, but his mother had insisted and he didn’t want to argue with her.

The most disorientating thing was walking up the front steps, onto the porch, and into the house. He told himself he wasn’t going to look, he wasn’t going to look down the porch steps as he had when he’d watched Sam walk away.

He looked.

He saw Sam’s turned back, he heard his steps down the wooden boards that led onto the ground. He felt his cheeks heat up at the instant clench in his heart as he experienced this.

( _For Christ’s sake, he’s not real!)_

His attention was diverted to the car driving down the street in front of the house, the loud engine pulled his eyes to the sleek, black car driving by. The sun glinted off the windshield, shining right into Gabriel’s eyes and he was unable to see the driver or anyone else inside.

“See, that’s the kind of car your father wants,” his mother said from inside the door. Gabriel was unaware he’d stopped entirely to watch the car drive by. He still heard the engine faintly. “I think it’s an Impala. I’m not sure, he talks about it all of the time,” she laughed and opened the door and walked inside.

Gabriel followed her, unable to hear the engine anymore.

**~[[SPN]]~**

The house was the most different. The furniture was all moved, the walls in the kitchen were a different color, and they had a better TV in the living room. It was fine, Gabriel didn’t care much, other than the confusion he experienced when he would walk into a room, expecting things to be a certain way - as they had remained the same in his dreamland - and be confused as to why the couch is against the wall instead of in front of the TV with the recliner and coffee table they no longer had.

His room, however, was the same. Nothing was moved, the room wasn’t even tidy. Just as he had left it, books piled up on the small desk he had in there, the bed not made and his dresser with drawers left open and clothes spilling out. How he likes it; a little messy.

The hospital had been too clean.

His mother and sister had left him alone after they walked him up to his bedroom. Anna hugged him lightly with one arm and his mother ran a hand through his hair, she told him that he can take his time getting used to things. Their father and Castiel would be home in a few hours, and they can start catching him up on anything they hadn’t already at the hospital. He smiled at her and said he was grateful for the moments he could spare by himself.

He walked in and for the longest time only stood there looking around at everything. Images flashed through his head, him and Sam hung out in here often. He saw himself sitting at his desk and Sam on the floor next to him with both of them finishing their homework. He saw Sam pinning him to the bed and smothering him with kisses.

It was going to be a while until Gabriel was okay.

**~[[SPN]]~**

His mother started dinner shortly after his father and brother got home. They were having spaghetti and meatballs. The entire time since he’s been home, Gabriel was sitting in his room, he sat cross-legged in the middle of his bed.

He was thinking of Sam and everything they’d done. He was saying goodbye.

Wiping the last of the tears from his eyes, he walked down the hall to the upstairs bathroom they had. He scrubbed his faces with cold water, cooling off the red splotches from crying. He was done crying, he was done being upset, he was going to forget about his dreamland and Sam and focus on what was real.

First things first, he’s got to fix the thick layer of awkwardness with his family. His brother and sister joke around with him a little, but it’s stressed to be funny and everyone’s laughter is fake and Gabriel just wants it to stop. So, he’s got to be the one to do it, because every one of them is walking on eggshells around him.

He walked down the stairs to the kitchen, where his mother was preparing dinner. He sat at the bar counter that cuts the kitchen from the living room, he sat on the open barstool between Anna and Castiel. His father was across the room at the dining table, reading the newspaper. Everything seemed normal.

“Glad you could join us, little bro.” Castiel greeted him. Gabriel smiled, it was forced.

“Yeah, my room got too boring.”

A tense moment. And then he broke the silence by asking, “When did you guys paint the kitchen?”

Of all people to answer him, Anna perked up and turned towards him.”Oh my, it was great! Okay, so he had to haul everything out of the kitchen, the stove and the fridge.” He nodded to show her he understood and was listening. “Well, dad and Cas can’t coordinate on anything, because they almost took out a window moving the fridge.”

Gabriel smiles. Castiel interjects, “We did not almost-”

“The entire time they’re grunting and dad’s yelling at Castiel because he wasn’t lifting it high enough.”

Gabriel laughs as Castiel shakes his head. Gabriel saw his parents smiled and look at each other, and Gabriel was glad. Back at the hospital, they had barely acknowledged each other, Gabriel had noticed that the tension was affecting his siblings too. He’s glad to see them happy with the other again.

Gabriel’s sure things will get better, although he’s not sure how long it will take.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are widely appreciated!


	4. Chapter Three // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I am a dumbass, guys! (not surprising, I know) I posted the wrong chapter! There is a chapter between two and four (duh) and I didn't realize it until now. *sigh* I know, I'm sorry... But hopefully, this will fix it and be clearer for you guys.. I still can't believe it took me so long to realize it...

~~~~

**Chapter Three // Gabriel**

Charlie and Kevin come to visit him the next day. When his mother asks if they can come to see him he tells her that he’d prefer not. Gabriel’s unsure if he’s ready for outside visitors right now. Twice at dinner, he had to ask if something had happened or if he dreamt it. The first thing - Castiel, Anna, and him driving back and forth to school - they said that that is something they did, they had started about two months before Gabriel himself had gotten his own license, so that was something they did. Castiel said they would continue whenever he went back to school. And the second thing - whether or not they had gone to the waterpark for one of Anna’s birthdays - they said it didn’t. He stared at his almost untouched dinner after that, his appetite completely gone now, remembering the day as if it had been an actual memory. It felt real. 

Gabriel was walking on thin ice. The cracks underneath his feet washing in water and blurring the line between his dreams and reality. 

Later that afternoon, his mother came back up to his room, telling him that she’d just gotten off the phone with Charlie and she had insisted that Gabriel needed to see his friends. Gabriel caved, his two friends were at his house twenty minutes later. 

Gabriel stayed in his room. He heard his mother open the door, invite them in, and then he heard two sets of footfalls coming up the stairs. 

His mother was probably still in the kitchen, of course, they knew where his room was, Gabriel didn’t know how many nights one or the both of them have spent in his house. Gabriel didn’t want them to see him, because he didn’t want to see the state he was in. Charlie would be able to see he was heartbroken - of all things - over a boy who wasn’t even real! Separating reality and his dreams were easier - not that they aren’t difficult - with his family because they hadn’t been around him with Sam very often. Sure, they had family cookouts with the two families, but they didn’t ever just “hang out.”  

They pause at the door, silence and then, “Gabriel?” It was Kevin. 

He thought about ignoring them, pretending to go to sleep, but then his mother would come up here and “wake him” and force him to interact. But Gabriel couldn’t help but feel the unease. He really didn’t want to say something or hint at something being wrong besides the usual ‘I just woke up from a coma’ confusion because he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t want to tell anyone. 

“We know you’re awake. Let us in.” Charlie. 

Gabriel’s heart thudded loudly in his chest, pounding against his ribs. He rolled over, flattened his bed head as much as he could and responded with, “I don’t want to see you. But the door’s unlocked.” 

They both come bursting in after that. Charlie a half-step ahead, her face twisted in anger but they both stopped when they saw Gabriel on the bed. 

“Umm… Hi?” Gabriel said after a heartbeat or two of silence. 

That’s when Charlie let out a hiccuping breath that sounded like a sob. She clamped a hand over her mouth but tears had flooded her eyes and spilled onto her hands. She came closer, jogging the last couple of steps and climbed into the bed, Kevin right behind her and then there were two sets of arms wrapped around him. 

“God, I hate you,” Charlie sobbed into his neck, her tears and snot rubbing into his neck. He didn’t care about that, he was trying not to cry himself. What had he been thinking? He missed his friends, sure, but it felt like he’d just seen them two weeks ago instead of years. 

“Why don’t you want to see us?” Charlie asked, sitting up and tucking her hair behind her ears, it was short now he liked it. Kevin remained quiet. 

“I… I don’t want you to see me like this…” 

“What’s wrong?” Kevin cleared his throat and blink away tears. 

“I just… I’m just trying to remember everything, I guess.” Gabriel looked away, he hated lying. 

“Everything’s okay, right? Like in your head, you’re not injured?” Kevin asked, sitting back on the bed. 

“No, no, no,” Gabriel answered. “Nothing like that. I’m okay, it’s just confusing.” 

Charlie looked up and asked, “What can we do to help?” 

At first, Gabriel didn’t know the answer to that. He didn’t want them to do anything, but he wanted to just forget about his dreams so that he could just be the person they all know. He wanted to be able to hold a conversation without saying something that would confuse the other person. 

He wanted to be able to look at Kevin without thinking of the Homecoming dance that he’d attended with Sam. Kevin and his date, another girl that went to their school - or so Gabriel hoped she’s real - had convinced Sam and Gabriel to go together, the couple’s first public outing.

He wanted to be able to look at Charlie and not remember when she found out Gabriel was dating someone of the same gender. He wanted to forget about the way she had jumped up and down, excited that Gabriel had found “the one.” He wanted to forget the way they had both cornered Sam and gave the “if you hurt him we’ll hurt you” speech had like the great best friends that they were. 

He wanted to just be their friend again, without the worry. 

“You can, umm… tell me everything that’s happened while I was gone.” 

And they do tell him. Everything that’s happened when he was gone, from Kevin’s mother going on an overnight field trip the school’s band had gone on and how she totally embarrassed him in front of all of the woodwinds instrument kids. 

“All she had to do was pull me aside to ask if I still had my ointment-” Kevin said. 

Charlie interjected, “Instead, she yells across the parking lot as we were unloading the buses in front of the hotel-” 

“And it was the single, most humiliating thing I have ever experienced.” 

“I for one,” Charlie added, attempting to hold in her own laughter as Gabriel wiped the tears from his eyes. “Thought it was the greatest thing that happened on the entire trip!” 

They continued to talk about school. How Mrs. Wallace had quit when her entire class had refused to do any of their work for an entire week. Then the conversation turned to the new kids. 

“Oh my god! I forgot to tell you the most exciting piece of drama!” Charlie grabbed at Gabriel’s arm and shook him gently with excitement. At this point they were all comfortable, just old friends catching up after a long break. Gabriel’s mother had offered them snacks twice and drinks three times, on the third time they all took a glass of lemonade. 

“What drama?”

“Jut the new kids…” Charlie taunted.

“Are there a lot of them?” Gabriel asked. 

“Not a lot,” Kevin said. “Just the family they are of.” 

“Okay, so. Do you remember Adam? He’s in our grade.” 

Adam? Gabriel tried to remember, he struggled for about to seconds and then it came to him; Adam Milligan. He had been in their grade since the early grades, Gabriel thinks he moved to their town in second grade? First? He wouldn’t be able to remember him even without the coma. 

“Yeah, I remember him. Kind of quiet kid, its just him and his mom, right?” Gabriel says, both Kevin and Charlie shake their heads. 

“No, it’s not just them. Apparently, he’s got two older half-brothers.” 

“What?” Gabriel asked. “Wait, they’re older? Like, different moms or dads?” 

“Moms,” Kevin says. Gabriel leans forward, somehow anticipating the next thing out of his mouth. “Because the two stepbrothers’ father apparently cheated on their mother a bunch of years ago. And they just realized they had a half-brother after their mother died.” 

“How’d their mom die?” 

“We don’t know.” Charlie was biting her fingernails. “All anything anyone knows is that it was a car crash. And then they moved here. And! I heard from Meg - you remember Meg, right?” She didn’t wait for the affirming nod that he remembered before she continued talking. “Well, she told me that apparently, the father of the three boys knew that the kid existed and only just now introduced his older boys to at their mother’s funeral!” 

“Oh my- that’s terrible!” Gabriel said, his voice hitched in light laughter. It wasn’t funny, but it was something he could laugh at and not get in trouble or feel bad later. 

“Yeah, everyone talked about it a lot at school for a while.” Kevin stood up and stretched. Gabriel’s back was cramping as well and he wanted to go for a walk or something, he’s been in bed all day. 

“What do people talk about now?” Gabriel asked, settling back into the cushions on his bed. Charlie’s eyes flitted over to Kevin and then back to Gabriel. They didn’t say anything for a long time. 

“What?” 

“Well…” Charlie started quietly. “People found out that you woke up…”

Which means that when he eventually went back to school, it was undoubted that people would be all over him. Like he was a shiny toy, new and improved! Awesome, that's exactly what he wanted to look forward to. 

“Let’s go see if my mom’s started dinner? I assume you are both staying?” Gabriel asked, standing up as well. 

Both of them replied with, “Duh.” 

Their laughter drifted down the steps with them. The slight awkwardness from before evaporated.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the inconvenience...


	5. Chapter Four // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There! The fourth chapter is in its correct place! I'm still laughing at myself... I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Four // Gabriel**

The visit from Charlie and Kevin made his decision for him. He missed school, he missed talking to people on a daily basis. Gabriel didn’t know he was capable of missing school, but he was. And so he, his parents, and the principal met four days later to discuss his schedule.  

Since he was starting four weeks into the second semester of what should be his junior year, he’ll be taking the second part of the freshman classes he hadn’t been able to finish. Taking these classes and summer school, he should be able to graduate as early as the year of his grade and that is if he works his butt off. The principal's words, not his.

So that is why Gabriel currently sits in the backseat of Castiel’s hand-me-down car from their father, parked in the student lot of the high school.

“You’ll do fine,” Anna said for the third time since he got into the vehicle.

“Yeah… I know. Being a junior in all freshman classes, wonderful.” Gabriel’s sarcasm hadn’t died when he was in the coma, he hadn’t decided yet if that was a good thing or not.

Gabriel had asked his parents about returning to school without actually thinking of what that really meant. Because now - sitting in the school’s parking lot four minutes before the first period - he was regretting his decision. Just seeing all of the different faces, the kids from his grade now all in their appropriate classes, and he stuck with the younger kids. According to Charlie, the freshman class this year was worse than any other class of students she’s dealt with. Great.

“I’m good, really,” Gabriel said when Castiel leaned back and looked at him through the rearview mirror with both eyebrows raised. Gabriel sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“First period’s about to start…” Anna reminded them, her eyes following the last few students willingly entering the front doors.

A late bus was pulling up to the edge of the student parking lot. It’s big yellow side glinting the sunlight in his eyes. Their school’s name printed on the side in black. Six students get off, some tall and some short. One a jock, varsity letter clearly on his varsity jacket. He wore the school colors proudly, Gabriel couldn’t force himself to step out of the car.

“You can go ahead, Anna,” Castiel said. “I’ll stay with him.”

Anna nodded and opened the car door. Gabriel felt her eyes on him, but he couldn’t look at her, his eyes followed the group of students walking towards the door, they were almost there. The car door shut, Gabriel felt the slam in his bones.

“Gabriel…?”

He didn’t respond. A girl, towards the back of the pack of students, tripped. She and her books went sprawling. The urge to laugh bubbled up. He barely knew the girl, her name was Jo Harvelle, they have gone to school together for eight years, she used to pick on him when they were in elementary. He laughed at her, his laugh light and breathy.

“I’m ready.”

Castiel watched him, Gabriel met his eyes in the mirror.

“Are you sure? I have no issue taking you home. My first hour is kind of a lazy class…” Castiel tried to make a joke, Gabriel heard the strain in his voice, he chuckled anyway.

“If I don’t go today, I won’t ever.”

“Okay.”

Another deep breath, he held it in and let it go. His hand’s been on the door handle for about three minutes. He pulls it and the door clicks open when he pushed on it with his other hand. _Here goes nothing_ is all he has time to think before Castiel gets out and is by his side. They walk in together.

The principal meets them at the door. “I was wondering when you were coming in, Gabriel. Your sister said you were just taking your time.”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Castiel, you may go,” the principal dismissed the eldest boy Castiel looked over at his little brother, Gabriel saw the unease at leaving him.

“Go on, big bro. I don’t need you to walk me to my classes like a baby, I’m only a year younger than you, really.”  Gabriel tried one of his best smirks, his way to tell his brother that he’s truly okay on his own.

Castiel shared one last reluctant look with the younger Novak before turning and heading down the hallway to the west wing of the school, where the seniors’ lockers were. Gabriel watched him turn the corner and felt the pang of abandonment, despite just telling him he was good.

“Mr. Novak,” Gabriel turned towards him. “Do you understand what classes you are in?”

“Yes.”

The man’s eyes were unwavering. Gabriel felt a flicker of something uncertain in his chest, like a hot rock settling in the pit of his stomach. He took a step down the hallway, he gestured for Gabriel to follow him, the student did.

“And you realize you will not be graduating with your class, correct?” His voice was deep, it echoed off the halls. The words grated against Gabriel’s head, the inside of his skull shredded by the harsh tone in which they were spoken, but he didn’t flinch.

“Yes, I am aware, sir.”

“Good. I do want to congratulate you on your courage to come back and finish your education.”

“Thank you, sir.” Gabriel’s mouth tasted sour.

**~[[SPN]]~**

The first hour was almost half over by the time the principal let him actually go to class. The door slammed behind him, the teacher stopping her lecture - she was new on the staff, Gabriel didn’t even know her name - and the freshman all stared. Gabriel wasn’t usually afraid of a crowd, but he felt strung out and like he was overly tired and only hits of caffeine were keeping him awake.

“Mr. Novak, there is a seat right here.” Her voice was loud, direct, and good for teaching, but it scared him then, he did flinch this time.

Gabriel walked over to the seat she had indicated, passing two rows first. Within those rows, he heard mutters as he passed, “Is that Zombie Head?” “...the boy who’s supposed to be a junior?” “isn’t he suppose to be like nineteen?” Gabriel tried his best to ignore them.

He sat down, empty desk to his right, left held a sandy-haired boy who turned his back to Gabe the best he could in the metal chairs. Gabriel focussed on the lesson, this was English, it used to be an easy class for him, but it starting in the middle of the semester - let alone a lesson - it was confusing o say the least.

“...you can see the difference between these two poems. One being a haiku and the other being…” Gabriel tried to focus, he really did. The other students, he felt their stares as a blanket, draped over his shoulders like a ton of bricks.

He glanced at the clock on the wall, _fifteen minutes to go._ Gabriel could do this, it was fine. So what if they stare? So what if they talk about him, he is a freakin miracle! He was in a coma for _two years_ and just woke up! Who does that?

_Freaks._

The word was hissed in the back of his head, that a scab he couldn’t scratch off, nagging at him. He put his head down, _there was no way he could do this…_

The teacher - whose name he still doesn’t know - passed out blank pieces of paper out and instructed the class to write their own haiku. Gabriel stared at the blue lines and pretended he knew what he was doing.

A hand rested on his right shoulder, it was the teacher. She sat down in the empty chair next to him; upon closer inspection, he realized she was younger than she originally looked, this was probably one of her first years as a teacher.

“Gabriel,” she began. This is what he’d been waiting on, for his teacher to tell him what to do so he could catch up and pass the class. “You have quite a bit to do if you want to catch up.”

“I understand,” he said.

“Unless you would like to do, maybe, a few larger projects for me so you can get the points? That would get you the points fast than you just completing all of the assignments that have been handed out, but know you still have to get notes from other students because all of this will be on the finals.”

“Yeah, okay.” Gabriel nodded.

“This is going to be difficult for you, but I am here to help and for the moment, none of the assignments due dates matter to you, you just focus on trying to catch up for now.”

Gabriel decided that he like this new teacher, she was considerate and kind. Her letting him know that she was there for him if he had any questions - which he was sure that he would have many - was comforting. He remembered some of his old teachers, like the math teacher he had the next hour, wouldn’t be so understanding.

For the remaining ten minutes, he went to the back of the room where her desk and filing cabinets were and gathered the first few weeks of lessons of the semester and the worksheets. She told him if he had two weeks worth of work done by Thursday of next week - it was Monday - he would be working quick enough to be caught up in about a month’s time. Gabriel didn’t complain; he only prepared himself for nothing but homework after school for a long time.

**~[[SPN]]~**

Gabriel made it to his locker after the first period with only getting pushed once, jabbed in the side once and called “Zombie Boy” and “The Walking Dweeb” once, which is better than he thought.

His locker was - thankfully - with all of the other juniors. He’s not sure how he would have reacted if his locker was with the freshman as well.

He got to his locker, typed in his combination, put his English I folder (which was no bursting with papers it seemed) when he heard a screech and had just enough time to look up before he had an armful of Charlie in his arms.

“Oh my- Anna told me you were here!” Kevin was right behind her, with a boyish smile on his face. Gabriel’s smile was wide and genuine. Charlie tightened her arms arm his neck in a rib-crushing hug before letting go and stepping back.

“Do you have any of our classes?” Kevin asked after he gave Gabriel a one-armed hug because his other arm was holding his next class’s books.

“Probably not,” replied Gabriel. “All I have is freshman classes, like Algebra I, English I, and General Science.” Gabriel held up his Algebra book as evidence to his sentence.

“Yikes,” Kevin said at the same time Charlie teased, “That’s what you get for almost dying.”

Gabriel tried to show his disapproval by looking at her with a straight face, but he broke out into a smile only a second later. Now that he was getting better - he hadn’t realized before just how big of a step going back to school was - it was funny to joke about what happened to him, not that it was a funny concept at all, just… sort of funny it happened to him.

“I got to go,” Gabriel said, noticing that the hallway had started to clear completely. “Can’t be late my first day!” He brought his voice up a few octaves to mock himself, both of his friends walked the opposite way laughing. Listening to the sounds bounce off the walls as they faded the farther away they got from each other gave Gabriel the courage he needed to make it through his next class.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are very much appreciated! (Unless you already commented on the chapter, then it had already been appreciated by this dumbass XD)


	6. Chapter Five // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! This is a rather short chapter (I'm sorry) but it is very important and something people have been waiting for. So here you go.. And I'm going to busy for the next week or so... And this resemblance of an updating schedule will probably be broken for a bit. 
> 
> Also, still looking for a beta-reader if anyone's interested. I'm not begging or anything, but just asking politely over and over, y'know?

**Chapter Five // Gabriel**

There was a pull, it was deep in his chest. Gabriel pushed it down at first, it was stupid and he ignored it. It seemed to go away the closer to the entrance of his math class he got. Gooseflesh spread across his arms, the hairs there raised; Gabriel wasn’t sure why. The thought came in one side and was out the other because dread replaced it. A nervous sweat broke out on his forehead, as it had done when he walked through the front doors of the school. God, he really hated math class. 

As he passed through the threshold more sweat broke out on the back of his neck. His hands were clammy enough for him to have to regrip his textbook because he felt as if it was going to slip from his fingers. 

Of course, all of this registered in a matter of seconds. What really made time slow down was when he walked into the classroom and saw the kid talking to the math teacher - Mr. Manson. 

He was tall, brown hair curled around his ears and broad shoulders. Gabriel recognized it all but didn’t at the same time. His eyes widened and he did drop his textbook this time, he might have squeaked, he was too frightened to be sure. 

The bang of the heavy book on the thinly carpeted floor alerted almost everyone in the room, but Gabriel was focused on the boy by the teacher’s desk. This is where time slowed as he turned - Gabriel held his breath as more and more of his face was revealed - and Gabriel’s world started to crumble. He actually felt his reality fall like the twin towers.

Like a deer in headlights, Gabriel just stood there. He was frozen, his feet had turned to roots and planted themselves into the ground underneath him. There was a ringing in his ears; maybe someone had called his name? All he could think was he was standing two yards away from Sam Winchester. 

_ Sam Winchester. _

He was crazy. All he had to do was blink and realize it was only a kid who  _ looked _ like Sam and _not_ the boy who he had two years worth of dreams about, but his eyes refused to do anything but memorizing all of the details of the other boy's face. Tremors wracked his body, his head pounded in time with his heartbeat, or maybe it was just his heart beating too fast and about to give out. And wouldn’t that be great? If his heart just gave out and he dropped to the ground dead despite everything? 

“Gabe-Zombie-Novak!” He jumped and this time he did make a noise. He blinked rapidly as his heart rate went down and he started to gather his wits. The numbness cleared in his limbs and he was able to move his legs again. He took a step forward, eyes flitting around the room as he realized that all of the other students were looking at him as if he was an even bigger freak. He was unsure who had yelled the insult, there was a group of other boys laughing. He'd only been inside the classroom for fifteen seconds maybe?

He bent down and picked up the textbook and notebook that had fallen out of his arms in shock. There is no way that that was actually the boy he thought it was, and so when he looks again he’ll realize his reaction had been premature and stupid. Sam Winchester was not real, he was only a figure of Gabriel’s own mind, someone he had created to deal with being in a coma. 

Yeah, he could believe that. That was all- 

“Thanks, Mr. Manson,”  _ God, he sounded so much like him.  _ Gabriel mentally slapped himself. 

“No problem, Sam,” the teacher’s voice was deep and seemingly threatening in Gabriel’s ears. Or maybe it was the name he said that was scaring Gabriel so badly. 

Gabriel took another step forward as the name bounced around on the inside of his head, echoing back and forth from one side to the other, on repeat. He looked up just as the boy whose name was Sam -  _ coincident,  _ Gabriel tried to convince himself - and his eyes raked over the face of Sam Winchester again. 

If Gabriel had had anything in his bladder, he was absolutely certain it would have been on the floor at his feet, because his entire body went numb, his knees almost gave out but he tensed at the same time and crushed his books to his chest as all of the air in his lungs left his body. In a matter of seconds, he was a wreck once again. 

Sam had to pass Gabriel on his way to the door. The boy came close, seemingly not disturbed by the staring and sidestepped the shorter boy. No, more like moved his shoulders in a way so he avoided touching Gabriel in any way. 

“Sam…” Gabriel whispered. Sam made a disgusted sound as he passed in response to Gabriel saying his name. Sam kept walking, and Gabriel watched him hopelessly before the door closed and he disappeared. 

Gabriel tried to move, he really did. His legs felt like lead, his arms squeezed tighter to his chest, pressing the metal spiral of the notebook into his left nipple harshly, he barely felt it. 

“Mr. Novak,” the teacher called not for the first time. Gabriel turned back around, feeling light, like a ghost, transparent. He wanted to cry, he wanted to puke, and the want for Sam rose up in him like a tsunami.  He felt the emotion leaking from the cracks in him, like a damn about to break and destroy everything from the impending flood. 

He swallowed thickly, told himself he would freak out later, and stepped up to the teacher’s desk - in the exact same spot Sam Winchester had just been standing. 

**~[[SPN]]~**

He was distracted the rest of the hour; of- _ fucking _ -course he was! The boy he had dreamt up while he was in a coma was an actual person! So for the rest of the time he spent in that seat - staring at the door on some hopeless wish that Sam would come back in - and tried to remember if they  _ had _ met before his accident. 

He’d read somewhere that you can’t make up a face, so that means he must have met Sam before his accident and idolized him in his subconscious. That was plausible, right? He came up blank. How could someone replicate someone's exact face and name and voice and... Gabriel didn't want to cry in class surrounded by people who were two years younger than him.

When the bell rang Gabriel was out of his seat and out the door before it had even finished ringing it seemed. He ducked his head, holding onto his books tighter, and wove through the crowds of students to get to his locker. 

He dumped his books off and slammed the locker close - his next hour is online because he has to catch up in a class the school no longer had. He turned around quickly and almost screamed; across the media center, along the other line of lockers, stood the one and only Dean Winchester -  _ and if looks could kill… _

Gabriel was frozen, trapped in the man’s stare. Sam was turned around rifling through his own locker, Dean leaned against the ones to Sam’s right. It wasn’t like before, Gabriel wasn’t so shocked he couldn’t move this time around; this time he was frozen with fear. His blood ran colder and colder the longer the elder Winchester gave his finest death glare. 

Gabriel has never been glared at in such a way; it like Dean wanted blood. 

When the bell rang once more - he had better get to a computer if he was going to start anything on his online class - when Dean finally released him from his stare. Sam slammed his locker door closed and the two brothers walked away, towards the exit. 

Gabriel let go of the breath he was holding, his head hurt again. He turned towards one of the computer labs, it was when he sat down that it hit him -  Dean Winchester is real too. And if he was real, what was wrong with Gabriel?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAM FREAKING WINCHESTER IS REAL! Ahhhh! (and Dean too, but he's not important)
> 
> Just kidding, this is something that a lot of people probably knew was coming for a while. Oh well, it's finally here! YAY! 
> 
> And as always, comments and kudos are appreciated greatly by this author. I swear, every time a get a notification for a comment my heart skips a beat I swear.


	7. Chapter Six // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter took a little longer to write and I was working on other stuff. Oh, and I had a family reunion, but that's my excuse/reasoning for this chapter being so, so late. And I am sorry, and I also want to thank everyone who is still reading! 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is a good one, in my opinion. We learn a lot, so I hope you enjoy greatly!

**Chapter Six // Gabriel**

During lunch, Gabriel hunted Charlie and Kevin down. Usually, that would be a figure-of-speech, nobody ever  _ actually _ hunts someone down… Oh, Gabriel did. He was being fueled by a mixture of shock, adrenaline, and a little bit of oh-shit-I-might-be-crazy. And so he ducked his head and ran through the hallways, determined to get the cafeteria and his friends quick before they get comfortable with their food. 

He spotted them, sitting in at a table that was three over from the doors to the bathroom and already invested in their meals. They were not the only too, there was a third and fourth. The third being another red-head and the fourth a boy that was only slightly taller than Kevin. Gabriel barely registered that there was anyone new even there, Charlie had mentioned a couple of days ago that they had a couple of friends they wanted him to meet. 

Gabriel didn’t have enough time to mentally curse for being so late to his next class before a solid mass knocked into him from behind. Laughter and cheers followed a group of boys, Gabriel was pretty sure he knew who it was, the two tallest being brothers, and it hurt to think about them for now because he still thought he was going crazy. It was like a low thrum in the back of his head, something was telling him things weren’t right. Gabriel picked himself up and ran towards the table with his friends.

“Guys!” he half shouts-half pants. Causing everyone’s head to shoot up, Gabriel didn’t know how crazy he looked; his breath ragged, shirt rumpled, sweat spotted across his face and shoulders, and eyes wide. 

“Are you okay?” Kevin stood up, he was ready to walk around the table and help Gabriel. 

“I think…” He gulped in more breath. He must be crazy, or definitely look it. He also wasn’t sure what they would think, so he revered a little. “...I need to just go home. I don’t want to bother my brother, could one of you take me home?” 

“Yeah,” Kevin said, his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. Charlie was still sitting down, gaping at him. The other two were just as shocked.

“Thank you,” Gabriel just need time to think. Things would be good. He sat down across from his friends, Kevin returned to where he had been. 

“Aren’t you missing a class right now?” The other red-head asked him, it barely registered to him, the dread and disbelief still swirling in the bottom of his chest and weighing him down.  _ How could they be real? _ He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, and he wanted to  _ talk _ to Sam. He’d been so terribly lonely without Sam and up until now Gabriel had thought he’d just been adjusting to everything. 

“Gabe!” Charlie raised her voice a little. Gabriel noticed a few unwanted stares coming from all over the cafeteria, Gabriel stepped closer to the table. 

“You guys can sort this out yourselves-” the second red-head started to say as her and the other boy started walking away. 

“Rowena, not now!” Charlie snapped, she was concerned for Gabriel. And Gabriel knew he was freaking them all out, but it’s not like he’s meaning to, he’s a little freaked out himself.

“Did something happen?” Kevin started to ask, Gabriel cut him off.

“Who are the Winchesters?” He ventured. If they didn’t register the name then it would be a very,  _ very _ bizarre coincident. If they didn’t know who he was talking about then he would try to forget, chalk it up to he saw their faces before, as in somewhere before his accident and it was one of those freaky my-mind-liked-a-face-and-decided-to-dream-about-them-for-over-two-years kind of thing. 

But then Charlie answer him, “Do you mean Sam and Dean Winchester?”  _ Fuck.  _ He nodded numbly. 

“What about their little brother, Adam, I think?” the other girl -  _ Rowena -  _ asked. Gabriel now just registered her voice and her weird accent. Maybe it was Scottish or something… But that didn’t matter right now.

“Adam? There is no Adam,” Gabriel realized what he said a moment or two too late and had to squeeze his hands in a fist to resist clamping it over his mouth. Hopefully, his friends wouldn’t question his slip up. 

“Yes, there is,” Kevin said. He had his hand on Gabriel's shoulder and rubbed it in slow circles. Gabriel knew he was trying to comfort him, but suddenly his stomach churned at the thought of them thinking he’s crazy and he wanted to flinch away from the contact. 

“Yeah, you weren’t here for that drama,” the other boy chuckled. 

Gabriel cocked his head to the side and shrugged his shoulder away and Kevin dropped his hand. His head cleared a little, but only a little, he was still reeling from even the  _ possibility _ of Sam being real. 

Gabriel didn’t want to here drama, he just wanted to be alone, to sort this out. He asked Kevin again if he could take him home. Kevin agreed and they left. 

Kevin told Gabriel on the ride to his house that the other boy’s name was Crowley and that he and Rowena were related somehow,  _ like second-cousins or something _ Kevin had said. They all apparently joke around and call them mother and child because they are exactly nine months apart. 

Kevin also told him about the drama that he’d missed when he had been gone. Apparently, Sam and Dean Winchester moved to town within a few weeks of Gabriel’s accident and all they had was their father. Nobody knew much about their mother, only that she had recently passed away and everyone thought that is why they had moved here. 

Only a month after the two older boys came to school, their little brother shows up too. The thing about him, Kevin had said, is that he was only their half brother and their father had been cheating on their mother for a while and only now introduced his oldest sons to his youngest and new women. 

“So Sam and Dean knew nothing about the other woman and her son?” Gabriel asked. They were almost to his house now. 

“Yeah, I mean, that’s what I heard Benny Lafitte say and he and the oldest - Dean - are like close friends. She even kept her own last name and forced her son to as well.” 

“Is Benny still kind of a douche?” Gabriel asks bluntly. 

“Nah, he’s mellowed out a little. Dean’s a bit of an asshole, though,” Kevin said, only glancing at Gabriel once before returning his eyes on the road. Kevin has only had his license for a year and a half, Gabriel had wanted to see Kevin get it because that’s the big thing the boy had been looking forward to before his accident.

Gabriel’s eyes shot up, “Really? How much of an asshole?” 

The Dean Gabriel “knew” was sweet. He had cared for his little brother so much, had done anything for Sam as well as been a pain-in-the-ass older brother. The Dean that Gabriel thought he “knew” had swooned his own older brother. They had been a slow burn, whenever the four of them had hung out - which was often - there had been a lot of sexual tension between his and Sam’s older brothers. And then they worked it out, and by that he means Sam and him had walked home and caught them pressed against the kitchen counter, trying to eat each others' faces. Dean had done so good by Castiel, Gabriel had been proud of the both of them. The Winchester parents and his own parents had been so understanding and so loving about their sons coming out. Another twinge of loneliness squeezed Gabriel’s stomach. 

“I swear,” Kevin said with half of his mouth turned up in a smirk. “The way you talk about them, it’s as if you already know them.” 

Gabriel felt the dread roll through him and pinned him to the seat. It made him feel heavier and like his muscles were too weak to move. They pulled into Gabriel’s driveway, his mother was home. The school had called her when they left to let her know that her son was coming home. 

He knew Kevin had been joking and he knew he should probably joke back, but instead, Gabriel had opened the door, thanked his friend for the ride slammed the door, and started to walk to his house. It dawned on Gabriel as he was twisting the knob on the front door that he left his backpack and all of his books at school. Oh well, he thought, guess I’ll start on the homework tomorrow. 

Before his mother had asked what was wrong, he headed for his room up the stairs because he didn’t want to talk anymore. He wanted to sit and think, he wanted - no  _ needed _ to figure this out. 

He came in and sat on his bed, he rolled over onto his stomach and hugged his pillow. His fingers scraped together as he clenched his fists with the urge to not scream. He felt it, the emotion, flooding his system, bubbling up his throat and demanding release. 

Gabriel shoved his face harder into his pillow and opened his mouth but didn’t scream, instead tearless sobs muffled into the pillow. How could Sam Winchester exist? How could his brother exist? 

Gabriel thought hard. The likeliness of Gabriel just seeing two random faces (even if it was people that he had seen more than once but not enough to recognize them) how could he have remembered their names? How could his brain randomly generate those names and have two people fit those faces? How could this be a coincidence? How-

His mother knocked on his door. “Honey..?” 

Gabriel sat up fast enough to cause his head and vision to rush. He wiped his face, finding little moisture but enough heat to suggest his face was very red. His mother knocked again. 

“I’m okay,” he answered. His voice wavered and he mentally cursed. 

“Can I come in?” He couldn’t tell his mother no. 

In fact, he didn’t say anything. He just waited until she cracked the door open. She had a bottle of water in her hand. Gabriel curled up at the top of his bed and left enough room for her to sit next to him. She offered the bottled water and he accepted. 

“I won’t ask you what’s wrong.” She started, putting her hand on her son’s shoulder. “But I’m here if you need to talk.” 

“I love you, Mom.” Gabriel pushed himself up and rested his head on her shoulder and she wrapped her arm around him. They sat there for a moment, mother and son, and Gabriel soaked up her comfort and her love. Now he realized just how lonely he’s been since he left his land of dreams and fantasy. 

“I love you, too, Gabriel.” Her use of his full name, the gentle way she said it, broke him. He turned to her shoulder and sobbed again. She made a soothing sound and he cried harder. Her left hand came up and rubbed his shoulder, pushing him closer to her. 

“I’m okay,” he mumbled after a while. He sniffed and wiped his eyes; his tears had flooded in then. His mother made another soothing noise. He knew he didn’t have to tell her, but Goddammit he wanted too. He wanted to tell her everything, but how? He could barely think of any of it - the dreams that muddled his reality, the fact that he hadn’t actually come out to his parents, and Sam Winchester - without thinking of himself as crazy. 

“I know, Sweetie.” She said lovingly. He heard her sniff and his heart broke all over again. Of course she’d be upset if her son was. “I just want to make sure you are sure that you okay.” 

“Ye-yeah. I can’t.. It’s just been hard... to adjust to…  _ everything. _ ” Gabriel hated how shaky his voice is. He sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly. 

He sat up trying to wipe up the wet spot on his mother’s shirt. He looked at her face when he asked, “Mom, do you know the Winchesters?” 

His mother was on the school board and volunteered in town a lot, and so maybe she knew a little bit about them. Gabriel figured the more information he got on the family the more he could keep the people of his dreams separate to the people in real life. 

However, his mother’s horror-slackened face confused him. “Oh, honey I am so sorry…” The end of it dropped off to a whisper, like she hadn’t meant to say it. She froze and just looked at him, it started to freak Gabriel out. 

“About what? Who are they?” 

“Wait, how much do you know?” She seemed to wonder more out loud. But Gabriel’s curiosity had latched on. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. His mother stood up and started to pace, something that she only did why she was really distraught. Gabriel was going to start panicking if she didn’t start explaining things. 

“Sonofabitch,” she cursed softly, which did little to put out her son’s fueling panic. His mother almost never cursed, let alone in front of her children.

“Mom, you are freaking me out. What- Does this have to do with my accident? And the Winchesters?” 

“I’m stupid. Your father didn’t want to upset you, we didn’t tell you because it was so hard for you to adjust to being awake after so long…” She had stopped to talk to him but then continued her pacing. 

“What does my accident have to do with the Winchesters?” And then he figured it out. Just like that. A new wave of panic and guilt took him out. He remembered bare flashes of the accident, but suddenly he could see the headlights from the other car flash across his face and snapping him away. He remembers jerking the wheel and.. and...

“There was another car,” he gasped. Realization dawned on him and he couldn’t breathe. He tried to take a breath… and it wouldn’t come. He couldn’t get his lungs to expand and his head felt fuzzy. 

“Gabriel!?” His mother raced to his side and when she put her hand on his chest his lungs started to work and he started gasping mouthfuls of air. 

“Mom, who was in the other car?” She ignored him and made sure he was breathing normally. 

“MOm!” he yelled and it caused her to jump back. “Who else was in the accident!” Tears streamed down his cheeks again. 

“I thought that’s why you wanted to know about the Winchesters…” 

“Please,” Gabriel begged. “Who else was there?!” He was forced to grab her shoulders to get her to focus. He was desperate because if he was correct… God, did her  _ kill _ someone? 

“A man and woman. A husband and wife,” She said. “John and Mary Winchester. They had just moved to town from Kansas.” 

Gabriel remembered the conversation with Kevin only fifteen minutes ago (was that right?) and what he’d said about the new wife.  _ She’d even kept her own last name.  _

As in her last name wouldn’t be ‘Winchester.’ Which means Mary Winchester is Sam and Dean’s dead mother… 

“Did I kill her?” He whispered because he couldn’t manage a louder voice.  _ Please, Mom, say no. Say I didn’t  _ kill _ someone.   _

“I’m so sorry…” The want to scream came back. 

The death stares from earlier make sense now. Gabriel had killed their mother, of course they both hated him. God, Gabriel couldn’t even fathom the hurt he should feel if someone hated him. Maybe it’s because he hates himself just as much...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. I know... Well, at least you know why the Winchesters hate him (sorry, not sorry) 
> 
> I know it's been a while, and I probably don't deserve them, but all comments and kudos are appreciated nonetheless!


	8. Chapter Seven // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I have so many excuses for why this update was so late. Like, I started school (I'm a junior) and I've been studying like crazy and trying to prepare for the SATs on top of taking two college courses this year (yeah, I know, smart) But I'm not gonna go into too much detail as to why this is so late. 
> 
> Just know that I am very sorry. 
> 
> Besides how busy I've been, I just have been missing my stories! I've been craving them so much XD. I miss being able to write, and read your guys' comments! (Please grace me with your comments)

**Chapter Seven // Gabriel**

After his mother left his room with tear-streaked-cheeks and a guilty look in her eyes, Gabriel punched his pillow. He did it again and again, and when that wasn’t enough he punches the wall above his head, busting through the drywall and blowing dust up into his face. His knuckles hurt and the dust caused him to cough violently that morphed into sobs. 

_ Mary Winchester _ , he thought bitterly. 

(He killed someone.) 

His recklessness not only ruined his life, but an entire family.  _ It wasn’t entirely your fault,  _ a voice spoke up in the back of his head.  _ Their father had already been cheating, their family was bound to fall apart anyway…  _

Gabriel shoved the voice away and shoved his fist through the drywall again, next to the hole that was already there. The wall was stiff and his hand came back bloodied. He shook his hand and barely felt the pain over the roaring guilt in his head. 

How could his family not tell him?

Gabriel clenched his teeth together and tried not to scream. It was like a blanket had been draped over him when his mother left; a blanket that weighed more than his shoulders could hold; it was a blanket that suffocated him. It was the blanket of guilt. 

Gabriel’s hands shook as he fell back on his bed. His tears fell from the corner of his eyes and rolled off his head. He clenched his fists, his hurt one sending pain up his arm, and he held his breath. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he didn’t want this weight anymore, he didn’t want to deal with any of this anymore. 

(He killed someone.) 

He held his breath until his head started to rush from lack of oxygen. And then he was gasping violently. Sobs wracked through his frame and he let his arms fall limp by his sides. 

(He ended some else’s life.) 

How could he do something like that? How had someone not told him? 

There was a quiet moment. He stopped crying for a second and things pause for a moment, like the calm before the storm. Once he thought it, there was no stopping it. 

_ He ruined Sam Winchester’s life, and that’s why he dreamt of him.  _ Gabriel had tried to think back to the accident and only got flashes of what had happened because it had happened so fast. Maybe he knew about the family beforehand, seen them somewhere and knew about them and the dreams were just his mind’s cruel way of punishing him for his guilt. 

Why had he thought things would be okay? 

**~[[SPN]]~**

It was an hour later when Gabriel finally quit crying. His eyes were red and sore, his head hurt, and the pain in his right hand was getting worst. He ignored it all, however. 

He got on his computer and looked for the town’s website. From there he found copies of the newspapers and online articles that the town’s journalist had published. He found the one he was looking for within ten minutes. 

_ Young Driver Takes Out New Couple Who Just Moved to Town,  _ Gabriel cringed at the title. He clicked on the link, it was the right date of his accident. He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, reading this would be painful. 

_ Two cars were found on opposite sides of the road. One a beat up Buick and a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. The Buick had one passenger, Gabriel Novak, age 16, the car flipped over and the entire right side of the vehicle was smashed. _

_ The kid was rushed to the hospital and the Novaks were shocked to hear that their son was still unconscious and the doctors say he might not wake up. The Impala had two passengers; a husband and wife. The husband, John Winchester, was the one driving, and his wife, Mary Winchester, was killed from a road sign pole lodged in her stomach. Doctors say she died instantly. _

_ The married couple had two boys at home, who were devastated when given the news about their mother. "I don't care what their excuse was, it is his fault my mother is gone. He took her away from me," younger brother, Sam Winchester says. _

Gabriel read the last part over again. Every word was true, he  _ had  _ taken his mother away from Sam. It was his fault their family was like this, it was his fault that the two boys hated him and it was certainly his fault that Mary Winchester had died. 

If only he had left Charlie’s a few hours earlier. He wouldn’t have been so tired and quick to get home and not miss curfew. 

_ How could he have been so stupid?  _

Gabriel was reading the article once more when there was a knock on his door. At first, Gabriel ignored it, hoping that his mother would just leave. He didn’t want to see any of his family right now, he just wanted to take a minute to feel sorry for himself, was that too much to ask? 

“Gabe,” It was Castiel. Gabriel didn’t know his siblings were home, but he checked the clock on the desk next to him and it was after 3 o’clock. 

Gabriel ignored his brother. A part of him was angry at his family. They knew what he’d done, they knew and they still let him go to school, knowing that he could run into the Winchester boys. He also knew it was irrational, but the anger boiled underneath his skin. 

“Open the door-” 

“Leave me alone!” Gabriel screamed, startling even himself. He never raises his voice, but the scream felt good as it tore up his throat like he was letting go of the anger. 

He almost screamed again, but Castiel barged in anyways. None of their doors had locks on them; before he was politely waiting for Gabriel to open the door. 

“Get out, Cas.” 

“No,” Castiel said. He stood in the middle of his room with his shoulders pushed back and looking like he wasn’t going to budge. “Mom is downstairs  _ crying _ because she feels bad.” 

“Oh, mom feels bad?” Gabriel shot back. He stood up and despite being almost a head shorter than his brother Gabriel didn’t look away. “How about me, huh?” 

“Yeah, you were in a coma? You woke up!” His arms moved to emphasize his point. “Did you not think it would affect the whole family?!” 

“Castiel,” Gabriel said. “I  _ killed  _ someone.” 

Castiel stared at his brother. If Gabriel didn’t know any better he’d say his face looked ‘shocked’ but Gabriel knew his entire family knew. They had to know, right, it was in the papers? Castiel was still staring at his brother and Gabriel glared back. The brothers stood there for a little bit, different thoughts running through their heads and Castiel tried to find something to say. 

“Just get out,  _ please _ ,” Gabriel begged. 

“Gabriel, we didn’t tell you bec-” 

“I just want to be alone.” He was drained. The yelling hurt his throat and made his head hurt, his hand was throbbing and he rubbed the knuckles gently. 

Castiel saw the movement and looked around and found the twin holes in the wall. “Are you hurt?” Castiel was not going to leave his brother alone, part of him feared Gabriel would do something stupid to himself and another part of him needed to comfort his little brother. 

“They sting a little, but they are fine. I just want to sleep, please?” Gabriel stood up, wobbled on his feet for a moment, and sat down on his bed. 

“I’m sorry-” Castiel started. 

“Don’t,” Gabriel whispered. “You guys should have told me.” He was so tired now, he just wanted today to be over, even though it was only quarter to four. Hopefully, he’d sleep all night but that probably wouldn’t happen. 

“I just wanted you to know I’m sorry,” Castiel said, watching his little brother slowly crawl under the covers. His heart broke as he walked out of the room. Not quick enough; however, because Castiel still heard the muffled sobs from the bed before the door closed behind him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a lot of Gabriel coming to terms with what he'd learned in the previous chapter. And don't worry, it will get better! I am still on the fence about how I want Gabriel to make it up to Sam and Dean and how are Sam and Gabriel going to get together? (Because of course they do) These are things I am still trying to figure out.


	9. Chapter Eight // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! **i'm not southern, I just like using it**
> 
> I am back at it again with another update for this fic! Y'know, the one barely anybody reads anymore because the author is fucking lazy and would rather watch reruns of Supernatural and the Office than write her stories...
> 
> Anyways... this one took a little longer. I'd apologize but nobody likes a broken record.

**Chapter Eight // Gabriel**

Gabriel didn’t go to school the next day. Actually, it was a while before he went back there. He couldn’t look the  _ real _ Sam Winchester in the face. The guilt he felt was like a hardened cover, and it trapped him in an endless cycle of terror and regret.  

All he did was lay around. On his bed, on the floor, the couch in the living room; it didn’t matter. When he was in his bedroom his mother brought him food every couple of hours and let him eat in there - something he hadn’t been allowed to do before. He would munch on his food and leave his plate on the table next to his bed for his mother to take care of later. And yes, Gabriel was aware he was using her, but he was still pissed at all of his family, much less caring about how he was treating them. 

When he sat in the living room or kitchen, his siblings would move around him, not meeting his eyes - even when Gabriel would stare at them. His parents weren’t any better. His mother tried to talk to him, Gabriel’s voice would be rough from unused.  After the second day, his father finally said something, it was what Gabriel had been waiting for. 

“Son,” he said. The son in question was lounging on the couch at the moment, there was an old sitcom on the television that he’d been barely watching. The tv was something they’d had gotten an upgrade on while he was in the hospital, the color and sound were clearer. Gabriel usually hogged it for himself. 

“Dad?” He barely moved to look at him. 

“You need to go back to school,” he seemed to hesitate, “right?” His father stood at Gabriel’s feet with his arms crossed and a firm expression on his face despite the phrase coming out as a question. 

His father was stubborn and when he got angry he got loud. 

“Do I?” Gabriel shot back. He wanted to argue because it’s the most his family has talked to him as of recently. A part of him craved the attention; he needed their support right now. 

“Yes, you can’t just sit there all day and...” His arms dropped and he shifted on his feet. His hand came up and scratched the back off his neck, a nervous tick that all of the Novak kids got from him. 

“And what?” Gabriel sat up, staring his father down. 

His mother was in the kitchen preparing to make dinner and his siblings were in their rooms, working on homework he presumed. Once he and his father started yelling at each other, they’d come downstairs. Then he’d have everyone’s attention. There was a bunch of stuff that they all needed to sort out, like how it isn’t okay to  _ lie to your son and brother when he  _ killed _ someone. _

“Feel sorry ‘bout yourself,” he answered. His eyes darted around, stopping at the TV for a few seconds before flitting back to his son. 

“‘Feel’n sorry ‘bout myself,’” Gabriel repeated. He swallowed once to stop his lips from turning up into a smile. He wanted to talk to his parents, to do something to help himself, but everyone has just been ignoring and not meeting his eyes. This was good, though, he was talking with his father. Maybe he didn’t need to start yelling. 

They also feel guilty for not telling and he knows this, but he can’t help but be angry at him. Especially when he’s the one who’s to blame.

“Dad,” his voice was raising. “I  _ killed _ someone.” His father flinched at the word and Gabriel’s voice didn’t break or was it filled with emotion, it was hard as steel. He had to get through to them. 

“I know you did,” he still wasn’t yelling and Gabriel grew frustrated. “And we are trying to help you.”

“How?!” Gabriel exploded. He jumped up onto his feet, ignoring the head rush and small black patches in the corner of his vision, and gestured with his arms. He heard a bedroom door open upstairs and someone walks out. “Because nobody has said more than two words to me since I found out!” 

“Because you won’t accept it,” Castiel said, coming down the stairwell. There was a silence after his words. It got on Gabriel’s nerves. 

“What?” he asked stupidly. He shook his head a little. Castiel came to stand next to their father.  _ Great, _ Gabriel thought,  _ there teaming up against me. _

“I tried talking to you-” Castiel’s calm voice irritated Gabriel more than the silence had. 

“You lied to me!” Gabriel yelled. His mother stopped moving around in the kitchen and he saw Anna on the stairs, good, he could tell them all this. “You all lied to me, for weeks!” 

“We didn’t lie, we only-” 

“Held back a bit of information that I could have used before I, oh I don’t know,  _ ran into the sons of the mother I killed? _ ” Gabriel was still yelling, eyes widening and falling on the members of his family he could see. His chest was heaving after his outburst and his palms were clammy, he wiped them on his pants. 

“You saw Sam and Dean?” Castiel asked. Anna now stood behind the couch. 

“Yes,” he wasn’t yelling anymore. All he’d wanted was their attention. “And they…” 

“What did they do to you?” His mother had come out of the kitchen and stood behind him. He jumped and looked behind him. She was standing there with worry scribbled all over his face and a dish towel clenched in her right fist.

“They just, I don’t know, shoved me around a little, it’s no big deal-” 

“They what?” That was Anna, she sounded angry now. Gabriel didn’t understand, the Winchester boys should have done worst to him, he had destroyed their family after all. 

“Shoved me down,” he explained and then as an afterthought, said, “it’s fine.” Gabriel shrunk back from their stares, Castiel was quiet but his stare made Gabriel nervous the most. 

“I’m calling your principal,” his mother said, heading to the landline receiver. 

“What? Mom, no!” Gabriel jumped in front of her. Why were they acting like this? Did they really think Gabriel should go unpunished? 

“Gabriel,” his father said sternly. 

“No, why is she calling?” Gabriel asked; he was trying to figure it out himself. He reached for the phone before his mother could and held it in his tight fist, he could feel his fingers press a couple of buttons and he loosened his grip. 

“Because if those boys are going to hurt you-” His father was stepping up to Gabriel now. He reached for the phone and Gabriel tucked his hand up behind his back. 

“They aren’t hurting me, I swear.” Gabriel ducked under his father’s arm and took a few steps away. “The other kids are doing worst stuff, I can handle it though.” 

“You are getting bullied?” Anna asked, stepping closer to him. 

_ They’re only concerned for you, _ a rational voice in his head told him, but it felt like they were closing in on him. And suddenly his plan didn’t seem so bright and he no longer wanted to tell them anything else. 

“N-no,” he mumbled. He continued to back up and almost screamed when Castiel grabbed his shoulders from behind. His breath hitched and he dropped the phone. 

“Is that why you went home early?” Castiel asks as he let go of his brother. Gabriel looked back at his parents, his father had an arm around his mother and they were looking at him, they all were expecting an answer. 

“Yes and no,” Gabriel admitted. He had gone home because he thought he’d been going insane, but the other kids weren’t helping. He also couldn’t just  _ explain _ to them why seeing the Winchester brothers had affected him the way it did. The way  _ they _ did. 

“Umm, what?” Anna asked. 

Silence. Gabriel pressed his lips together, his eyes burned and his heart ached. How could he have bonded with Sam Winchester so much while he was unconscious? And why could he just let it the fuck go? 

He swallowed twice before he could speak, “The kids were harsh, but I expected them to,” his mother looked like she was going to interject, but his father squeezed her shoulder and she continued to listen to her son. “It was just too stressful, and yes, seeing the Winchester was hard, but I-” 

“I thought you didn’t know then?” Castiel asked, his eyebrows knitted together and his head cocked to the side a little. Anna nodded like she wanted to know the answer as well. 

Gabriel didn’t understand at first. Then he realized his mistake.  _ He found out what he’d done after he came home. They thought he didn’t know the Winchesters and so seeing them at school shouldn’t have triggered anything, and God, why was he so stupid? Good one, Novak.  _

How was he going to get out of this one? 

“No, well... I didn’t,” his voice wavered. It always did that when he was preparing to lie. Dammit, stupid tongue. “I mean, they like… stared at me… funny.” It was true enough that he was technically not lying. 

“Funny?” his father echoed. Gabriel nodded. 

“Like… I don’t know, just funny.” Gabriel shrugged. It’s not like he can tell them that the stares reminded him of the last time Sam looked at him in his dreams. And he wasn’t going to tell them about his dreams, he wasn’t going to tell anybody because he knew he sounded crazy. This is something he’d be able to deal with himself. 

“I’m fine, I swear.” Gabriel tried to make it believable. 

“Are you sure?” His mother asked, coming over to cup his cheek in her hand. It was warm and comforting and Gabriel wanted to cry. He cleared his throat. 

“Yes, mom,” thankfully his eyes stayed dry. 

“Will you go back to school?” His father asked from behind her. He looked to him and back to her mother, who has already dropped her hand. 

He could go back to school, he had the support of his friends, and he was sure he didn’t have any classes with the Winchesters because they were both seniors and so their classes mixing seemed unlikely. As long as he avoided them and continued to get a better grip on reality, then Gabriel was sure he’d be completely fine. 

He nodded, “Yeah.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what'd ya think? As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated (deserved? probably not with these lazy updates).


	10. Chapter Nine // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter maybe a month or so late... Hey finals are frustrating!  
> Actual my finals have barely begun.  
> I'm using this as a distraction from studying for my finals. Go me. Prioritizing.  
> See what I'm sacrificing for you guys?  
> Just kidding. I love all of you!  
> Enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter Nine // Gabriel**

Gabriel was back in school the next day. The principal met him at his locker.

“Mr. Novak, may I speak to you?” Gabriel stopped for a second, he finished putting away his books.

“Yeah,” he shut his locker and twisted the numbers counter-clockwise so that it locked.

“You came back to school and told me you were going to study hard.” His voice was loud and attracted all kinds of eyes, especially ones he wanted to avoid for the rest of eternity.

“Yes, sir,” Gabriel didn’t want this man to talk to him, he didn’t want this conversation to continue. He just wanted to get to class.

The principal licks his lips, his tongue flattening against the slightly darker color of his lips. Gabriel looked away and made eye contact with Sam Winchester from across the hall.

Please kill me, he thought miserably.

Dean was not with him. So Sam didn’t look away this time, he didn’t even look angry. God, Gabriel missed that face. Even though he knew that this Sam wasn’t his Sam, he still longed for him. Gabriel waited up at night longing for him, it’d only gotten worse after he knew Sam Winchester was real. He wanted the boy whose mother he killed to love him. Gabriel didn’t think he could hate himself any more than he already did.

“Mr. Novak,” said the principal, startling Gabriel out of his thoughts. The boy looked up at the adult and was thankful, for once, to look at the old man.

“Yes, sir?” Was his voice shaking? He couldn’t tell.

“I was saying that you missed a few days after you told me that you would study hard.” Other students in the hallway passed them, they were all heading to their first-hour class, why couldn’t he? “And yet, you still came back?”

“Yes, sir.” Gabriel gripped this books harder.

“Why?” He stopped this time. They had been walking in the general direction to his next class, which happened to be closer and closer to Sam Winchester’s locker.

“Because I hadn’t realized how difficult it really would be,” Gabriel admitted.

The principal looked down at him, he himself only a few inches shorter than the old man. Gabriel stared at him and saw the green-yellow crusties that were at the corners of his eyes and the ear hair that he had sticking out the side of his head. Gabriel wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Well, I had warned you.”

“Yes, sir.” Gabriel held his breath to repress a sigh. Where was this going? He had no idea.

“Get to class,” Gabriel started to step away, relief of getting away rushing through him. The ringing in his ears was too loud and he almost didn’t hear the principal’s last call, “If it happens again, I won’t allow you to return, Mr. Novak!”

Gabriel shuddered and had to make a quick sidestep to miss another couple of students running to get to class on time. Gabriel was moving fast so that he could get away from the creepy-ass principal.

He no longer saw Sam Winchester by his locker. Thank God.

~[[SPN]]~

He made it through the first half of the day. The classes that he’d been able to get through the first day he’d come back to: English, algebra I, government/economy class and seminar. He’d left at the beginning of first lunch, which is the lunch that all of his friends share.

After lunch, though, he hadn’t gotten to. He didn’t know who was in his classes, he didn’t know where he stood in the class yet. So on his way to his fifth-hour class, general science, his palms start to clam up with sweat and his books start to slip as he walks. He takes a deep breath, tells himself he can get through this, and turns the corner into the science labs and goes through the correct doorway.

He left lunch early to get there before all of the other students to talk to the teacher before class started. The man was short, balding, and organized. Gabriel walked in, his notebook and folder tucked into one side, and cleared his throat to get the man’s attention.

“Yes?” he asked without looking away from his computer.

“Umm…” Gabriel started. He looked around the room, the tall lab tables. The shelves in the back of the room with all of the science equipment, some microscopes, meter sticks, and a few others that Gabriel didn’t recognize.

“Oh, yes. Mr. Novak,” he set down the paper he’d been comparing to something on the screen and gave the teenager his utmost attention.

“Yeah…” Gabriel looked around for a second before darting his eyes back at him.

The man stood up, still taller than Gabriel, and walked out from behind his desk. “I’m assuming you are here for your textbook, yes?” He started towards a door across from the entrance that led to a closet used for storing more books and equipment. He came back with a book titled “General Science for High Schools.”

“Uhh,” Gabriel took a quick glance at his schedule. “Mr. Wilson.”

The teacher carried the book back to his desk, looked in the front cover, wrote down the number on a sheet of paper next to Gabriel’s name, and looked up. He raised his eyebrows and hinted for Gabriel to continue.

“How much do I have to do to catch up?” Gabriel’s stomach flipped uneasily, it seems to be doing that a lot recently. He already had a lot of homework to make up, but he’s allowed as many days he missed to make it up - so he’s got about two years.

“Given your unusual situation,” he handed Gabriel his book and started rifling through a few papers on his desk. “I won’t make you do everything, because that’s too much work and you probably already have enough homework to last you a lifetime.”

“You have no idea,” he mumbled.

The comment caused a smile on the older man’s face. “Yes, well. I will give you one large assignment that you will have four weeks to complete and it will make up for everything you’ve missed so far this year.”

Gabriel breathed a mental sigh of relief. Just in English alone, he has to make up fourteen worksheets, four tests, and an essay just to be caught up enough with the class to know what they are doing at the moment. He was very glad for just one assignment.

“Tha-”

“Now, don’t thank me yet. You haven’t heard the assignment,” he pulled out the paper he was looking for. He handed it to Gabriel. “I want you to do a research paper for me. Ten-page minimum, I always prefer twelve though. You will not get any in-class time to work on it because you are catching up. However, let the class finish up the unit we are on, this one has four more days left to it, and then you can join in with the class.”

This teacher has already been more understanding so far, Gabriel thought. His English teacher had been cool but still loaded his plate with work. The bell rang overhead.

Gabriel took a deep breath, held it, though here we go, and let it out.

“Let me show you where you sit.”

They both got up and Gabriel felt glad he was sitting more towards the back. He did sit down, began to rifle through his backpack as students started to slowly file in. The teacher looked at him and said, “Now remember.” A girl sat down next to him, she was a freshman. Blonde hair curled over her shoulders, clear brown eyes, and a pretty smile. “Once you begin with the class, you are expected to keep up with the class on top of finish your assignments. Are you sure you can handle this?”

Gabriel wanted to say something, before the girl next to him cut in, “Please, with his older sister. He won’t ever be able to quit.”

The teacher laughed at her joke and walked away. Gabriel smiled at her when he looked over. It was only out of politeness though, he didn’t know who she was or how she knew Anna.

“I’m Jo,” she says.

A group of boys comes crashing through the door. They are laughing at the girl in pigtails in front of them. One of them points at her. Another holds the tip of his nose and pushes it up to look like a pig which throws them into another fit of laughter. They’re making fun of her and she is choosing to ignore them. Go her. Screw them.

“Uh, Gabriel.” He turns his attention back to the person talking to him.

“I know,” she replied. She ignores it when one of the boys sits down behind her and proceeds to call her “sweet cheeks.”

“Sorry,” Gabriel starts, “but how do you know my big sister?”

“Oh,” she laughs. “Your sister tutored me last semester. She was great. Got me through Geometry and Biology.” Her explanation seemed plausible. Maybe Anna had mentioned it to him before?

“Yeah, she’s always been the smartest of the family,” Gabriel attempted to kid around.

“Just because you aren’t book smart, doesn’t mean you’re not intelligent.”

Gabriel was going to argue that there was nothing intelligent about him when the final bell rang and the teacher walked to the front of the class and cleared his throat. The class began. Gabriel pulled out his science notebook and started to think up ideas from his research project.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... what'd'ya think? comments and Kudos are very much appreciated! I do have a question: Would you guys like to see more of Jo? Should she befriend Gabriel?


	11. Chapter Ten // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look at me! I am getting so much done.

**Chapter Ten // Gabriel**

Jo wasn’t so bad. She crack a lot of jokes, had a lot of self-respect when it came to the boys, and was smart. The hour consisted of Gabriel writing everything he needed to do in every class in the front page of his notebooks respectively. There was a lot. 

He started with his first hour, English, and carried on through his classes up until the one he was in. his schedule followed in this order: English I, Algebra I, government/economy, lunch/study hall, general science, U.S. history, and art. Usually, when a student is as far behind on credits as Gabriel is, they typically don’t allow him to take any electives until his final year. However, most students don’t randomly miss two years and so the school let him take an art class this year. 

Art and choir were the only two that had an opening. Anna use to tease him about his “screeching whale” voice. So his first choice wasn’t going to be choir. 

Gabriel had almost completed the first semester of all of his freshman classes, when he was a freshman and because it had already been three weeks since the beginning of the second semester he was a little behind. This wasn’t a cause for much alarm; three weeks was not a whole lot to catch up on. Gabriel just wasn’t the best time and work manager. 

The U.S. history teacher was a young man who seemed passionate about the subject. This wasn’t the same teacher he had before; a lot has changed. He began the class by making them watch a ten-minute video on the American Civil War while he explained what Gabriel had to do to catch up. Because they are almost finished with the civil war, all he had to do was read the three chapters in the book about it and turn in handwritten notes that proves that he really did read it. After that was completed in the two weeks he was given, Gabriel was to then take a special test the same time as the rest of the class. 

As he had in every other class, he said he could handle the work, collected the textbook, and started in on the notes. There was three chapters, he said he wanted at least ten pages of notes per chapter. Gabriel ignored the lecture as best he could and tried to focus on his work. The hour moved sluggishly. 

Afterwards, Gabriel was relieved he only had one more hour to go. And art of all classes, he wasn’t worried about it. 

Gabriel was one of the first people to arrive. He did what he’s done all day and walked to the teacher’s desk. She was the same art teacher, in her early thirties and still passionate about teaching but without that “new teacher” gleam. 

They talked for a little bit while the other students came in. She told him to find a seat wherever and picked up her clipboard with everyone’s name on it. She was taking attendance. 

Gabriel picked a seat closest to her desk so there wouldn’t be a long walk when he had to go up to her desk every ten seconds for help on his art. The class began and Gabriel noticed the students around him didn’t have artwork in front of them. She was introducing a new topic. Gabriel didn’t have to play catch-up for once, he could start with his peers. Because this was an elective class, there was a group from all grades. 

Gabriel looked around at all the faces, some familiar some not. While the teacher was talking at the room, Gabriel was checking out the rest of the class. His eyes fell on someone on the other side of the room. His stomach sank. His vision blurred at the edges. And all Gabriel could think was  _ of-fucking-course! _

Sam Winchester sat two tables away from him. 

Gabriel stared for so long that Sam looked over. Did he glare? Did he roll his eyes? Did he tense up and act aggressive? Annoyed? 

He did none of those things. 

He just stared right back. 

Sweat pooled at the back of Gabriel’s neck. His eyes were trapped. Gabriel told himself he was too far away to see what color Sam’s eyes were. He acted like he didn’t already know,  _ sunflowers. _

“...two people will work on this together. Meaning it’s a group project.”  The rest of the class groaned. Gabriel heard it a little farther away. 

She walked back to her desk and grabbed the class list. She went to the front and sat on the stool up there. She started explaining the project. Gabriel tried to listen. 

“I wanted it to be two people because you will have different personalities,” She coughed for a second before continuing. 

Gabriel was still staring. 

And so was  _ he _ . 

“You and your partner will create something that combines those two personalities.” 

Sam raises his right eyebrow. 

Gabriel stops breathing. He had so many questions. Why was he not angry? Why was he doing..  _ that  _ to Gabriel? Why was he not punching Gabriel in the face? Why did he have to be so attractive? 

“I will give you three weeks.” Gabriel forced himself to turn away. He had to, Sam had licked his lips. Gabriel couldn’t get caught between these two Sam’s. One had loved him. The other hated him. One was real and the other was not. 

“Are we going to be choosing our partners?” A student from the back asked. Gabriel recognized her from his algebra class. Gabriel looked at the student and then teacher, anywhere but at the boy he could physically feel ogling him. 

“No,” the lady at the front of the room said. “Because the piece is a clash of two personalities, I don’t want you to be partnered up with your friend, who is similar to you.” 

More groans from the class. Gabriel risked his eyes over for a quick glance. Sam was no longer looking at him, eyes intent on the person speaking. 

“So what I’ve done is taken all of your last names and paired them up with someone who is on the second have of the alphabet. For example, the first pair is…” she looks at her paper. “Albert and Padaleski.” 

Gabriel only knows one of them. A shy girl. He’s pretty sure ‘Padaleski’ is a football jock. Poor her. 

“So people in the beginning of the alphabet will be paired with people from the middle and we’ll work our way down the names until the ending of the first half of the alphabet will be with the ending of the second half.” She cleared her throat and began saying the names of the different partners. 

“Bradbury and Rosen,” she said. 

Gabriel poked his head up. Charlie wasn’t in this class, was she? The little shit never said anything. 

However, it was a common last name. That Bradbury was a dude. And his Charlie definitely was not a dude. 

Gabriel kind of stopped listening, his name was probably going to fall in the ending of the first half of the alphabet. Which means he’ll proabably be paired with someone from the ending of the alphabet-

Wait a minute-

Winchester was at the end. 

_ Oh dear God, please no.  _

He really wished that by some miracle, there would be someone with a last name past the W’s. He looked around the room, only recognizing a few, to try and try to find someone else with a name at the back of the lineup. 

“Lafitte and Tuckner.” 

_ Oh no _

He couldn’t find anyone. He tried to rationalize it and tell himself there wasn’t a lot of people in the room he actually knew. The odds that he could get  _ him _ were slim. And why would the universe hate him so much? 

“All right, last pair,” she said.

Gabriel looked at Sam, he was looking back. Sam’s eyebrows shot up, creating the lines in his forehead that Gabriel use to flatten with his thumb all the times that he’d lay close enough to just mess around with Sam’s hair and his face- That wasn’t real. 

They both came to the conclusion at the same time it seemed. Gabriel’s face went slack and Sam frowned. At first Gabriel thought he might have made a mistake. Nope.

He and Sam were the last two left. 

Gabriel let out a low moan as the teacher called their names. 

“Novak and Winchester.” 

 


	12. Chapter Eleven // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Christmas break at the moment, so don't get too use to all of these updates XD. 
> 
> Also, I wanted to write a seperate, Christmas Supernatural story that had a few parts. One everyday, starting on the 22nd and going to Christmas Day y'know? And well... That did not happened. Maybe next year. 
> 
> I actually wanted to get this chapter out last night after I was finished responding to all of your lovely comments (at least I think I got everyone's, I apologize if I missed someone's) but then I realized that it was late. So I just watched some Grey's Anatomy (great show, btw) and went to bed. So here it is today!
> 
> Please enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven // Gabriel**

Gabriel remembered from before when he would be  _ dying _ to get Sam as a partner for any of the group assignments they had to do in school. He’d be upset when Sam would talk about how him and his other partner were working on something and Gabriel’s partner was a slacker. It had really gotten on his nerves. 

That was before. Back when Gabriel had been a proper junior and was taking junior-level classes.  _ Not real, _ he reminded himself. That was before Gabriel woke up and his entire world imploded.

He watched Sam from across the room. He pushed back from his chair, unfolded his long legs and stood up. He grimaced when his knees took on his weight, they have yet to catch up with his growth spurt. He had stretch marks on the sides of his knees where even the skin couldn’t keep up with his growing bones.

Why did Gabriel have to know him so intimately? It wasn’t fair.

Sam tilted his chin to push his hair off of his forehead and out of his eyes. He walked around the desk, bumping into a girl who jumped in his way. Gabriel’s eyes followed him. 

Gabriel knew the way he walked. He had it down like it was a science. 

How had his dreams been so accurate? Gabriel has since stopped trying to answer that. 

Sam was walking closer. There was only five feet and two students between them. Sam towered over them both. All he had to do was move past them and they’d be face to face for the first time in a long time. 

_ For the first time,  _ Gabriel corrected himself. They’ve never  _ actually _ met before. Or have spoke really. Gabriel’s just dreamt about him for so long. 

His breath caught in his throat. His left leg tensed and untensed. Everytime he moved, Gabriel could feel the sweat at his back. His fingers tapped a tuneless rhythm and he had to look away. 

The worst part about this was that he was still attracted to Sam. No matter what he did, no matter how he told himself not to, he still was very much in love with Sam Winchester. That terrified him. 

Sam cleared his throat, pulled out a chair and sat down. He was loud, Gabriel thought. He was loud and clumsy and tall and big and awkward and Gabriel loved him still. 

Gabriel could feel his heart thump louder. He looked up and met Sam’s eyes. His chest hurt. His body ached for the feeling of closeness they had. He  _ wanted _ to feel it again. He shut his eyes, no longer wanting to look at his stupidly attractive face anymore.

Behind closed eyelids, he saw them. He saw them together, his head resting on Sam’s shoulder, Sam’s hands playing with Gabriel’s right. It had been a nervous tick of his; Sam’s fingers always had to be playing with something. Gabriel found it endearing that it was always his own hand that occupied Sam’s fingers. Sam would then turn his head, not watching the movie anymore, and nuzzle into Gabriel’s hair and just breath in his scent. Gabriel use to steal Sam’s sweatshirts and plaid shirts and wear them without washing them because he was so addicted to Sam’s smell. He had been the good girlfriend. 

Except, that wasn’t real. That  _ never _ happened. 

Gabriel opened his eyes. Sam was still looking at him, a perplexed look on his face. Gabriel wanted to cry again. Why could he just  _ go back _ ? 

“I don’t..” Gabriel tried. Sam was just silently staring at him. “I.. don’t know what to say to you,” he trailed off. 

There was no way they were going to be able to do this art project. He wondered briefly if he could change partners?

“So don’t talk about it,” his voice was rough from disuse. It came out all deep and rumbly. With a spark of horror, Gabriel felt the first flicker of arousal at the sound of it. God, it sounded the same too. 

Gabriel opens his mouth, the words are right on his tongue, and yet, only a croak comes out. He can’t do this. He can’t just  _ talk _ to him as if they are supposed to be acting like they are meeting for the first time. And what did  _ don’t talk about it _ mean? He doesn’t understand it all of the way. 

“Gabe, I-” he cuts himself off with a cough. He looks away from a moment and Gabriel knows he’s blushing because he  _ knows _ him. It barely registers that Sam called him by his nickname. 

“This is…” Gabriel trails off.  _ Hopeless.  _ That’s what he was going to say. 

Sam shifts in his seat and his knee knocks into Gabriel’s. For a moment Gabriel’s leg tenses as if he’s going to pull away, but then he just doesn’t. He doesn’t pull away and neither does Sam. They are sitting close enough, turned towards each other with Sam’s right knee in between Gabriel’s knees rubbing against his right leg. Gabriel is holding his breath. 

“What?” He asks. Gabriel meets his eyes. Sam’s are clear. 

“I was, uhh-” he breaths a light, awkward laugh, “-I was going to say this was hopeless.” Gabriel shifts in his chair, the side of his knee dragging along the jut of Sam’s kneecap without any thought. To Gabriel, them touching is almost second nature. It should be weird to Sam, but then again, he still doesn’t pull away either. There’s something about that that is just weird to Gabriel, but he can’t try and think about it now. 

“Why’s this hopeless?” the left side of his mouth quirks up into a half smirk. He was doing that thing where he jokes around. Gabriel would be rolling on the floor, clutching his stomach by the end of some of them. Sam thought he was quite the comedian but it was Gabriel just being head over heels for him. 

“Because, we can barely talk to each other. I mean-” Gabriel almost stopped talking, but something in Sam’s face gave Gabriel the courage to continue talking to him. “After everything that’s happen? How could we?” 

Sam’s silent for a while. He just looks at Gabriel. All the while, Gabriel is trying to look anywhere but Sam and failing miserably. Deep breaths, he reminded himself. 

“We don’t have to talk about…  _ that,”  _ Sam’s voice soft. Gabriel swallowed thickly and nodded. 

Then they were silent again, both looking away. Gabriel tapped his fingers against the leg not still touching Sam’s. Sam cleared his throat, shifted in his chair, and pulled his leg back. They weren’t touching anymore and Gabriel could breathe again. Too bad he wanted to suffocate. 

“So the project?” Sam asks. 

“Yes, the project…” Gabriel rubs the back of his neck and looks around. Some groups are arguing, others already writing stuff down, and one couple are looking in opposite directions with pissed off looks on their faces. They must not be able to agree on anything. But that’s kind of the whole point of the project?  

“What are you thinking?” Sam almost whispers. 

When Gabriel looks back over he swears Sam eyes look wet. He clears his mind and looks at his own hands instead. “Well, we have to combine our two personalities.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sam nod. “So what do you think makes you?” 

Sam’s eyebrows reach for his hairline. He shrugs, ”I have no idea.” He thinks for a moment, “I’m not sure there is just one thing.” 

“Same here,” Gabriel says. 

“What about color?” Sam slides his hands down his thighs and leans forward. 

“Yeah, I think if we can meld together some colors it can turn out.” Gabriel starts picturing colors for himself. He’s thinking more greens and reds when Sam speaks up,

“I think your color should be the color of your eyes.” 

“My eyes?” he asks. What would Sam know about the color of his eyes? And how were they any special?

“Yeah, they are a gold color…” his voice quiets down. “More like looking through a glass of whisky, really..” Sam’s eyes are intense as they bore into Gabriel’s. 

_ He’s trying to describe your eyes, _ Gabriel thinks. 

“With the sun shining through,” Sam whispers, causing Gabriel to smile. The other Sam,  _ the not real one, _ he reminds himself, use to describe his eye color with the word ‘whisky.’ Gabriel never saw it but Sam always thought his eyes were beautiful. God, they were such girls. 

“Yeah, yours are.. good, too.” Gabriel mentally cringed at his own awkwardness, but it was fine because Sam smiled and wasn’t that worth it? 

_ No, _ Gabriel told his fluttering heart. It was definitely not worth it. Gabriel really wanted to bitch slap his own feelings. He wanted to stop talking to Sam but at the same time never end this conversation. He wanted to not feel this way towards a boy who can’t stand him. And most of all, he wants to go  _ back _ . 

Gabriel wishes he never even woke up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, we have some Sabriel communication finally! What did you think about Sam's odd behavior. I thought he was supposed to hate Gabriel? Hmmm.... he he he. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter Twelve // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SH-  
> I'M WRITING THIS NOTE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I CAN AND I WANT TO.  
> ACTUALLY THERE'S A REASON.  
> SO, USUALLY, I SHOOT FOR ABOUT 1,000 WORDS PER CHAPTER. I'VE BEEN REALLY GOOD AT KEEPING UP WITH THAT AS WELL. I THINK THE SHORTEST CHAPTER SO FAR IS LIKE 1,009 I THINK. USUALLY I GO OVER.  
> BUT.  
> THIS CHAPTER.  
> IS SO FREAKING LONG.  
> IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE IT WHILE YOU ARE READING.  
> BUT ITS LONG.  
> I HAD A SNOWDAY TODAY AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? BECAUSE IT WASN'T STUDYING FOR MIDTERMS!  
> I ACTUALLY HAD TO SPLIT IT IN TWO PARTS. THIS FIRST PART IS 4,783 WORDS. AHHHHHH.  
> GO ME.  
> That's why it took so long... I've been working in it since before New Years.  
> (HAPPY NEW YEARS! btw)  
> Alright, now that I'm done screaming at everyone! The weather is horrible right now, so we might get another snowday. Hopefully! So I can get another update before exams.  
> SO PLEASE, ENJOY!!!!!!  
> (hint: there's some Destiel)

**Chapter Twelve // Gabriel**

Turns out, Gabriel got one of his wishes. The bell ringing had cut their conversation short. Class was over. The day was over.

Gabriel started to stand up, he wanted out of here and be alone so he can just think about today. So he can feel today and let it go.

“Hey, slow down,” Sam caught his attention. Gabriel turned towards him. “When do you want to work more on this?” He smiles and Gabriel’s breath catches, “We never really decided a whole lot.”

“Yeah, I don’t know..” Gabriel picked up his bag. “But I’ve got to go. I got a bus to catch,” the lie slithered out of his mouth smoothly. He headed for the door, following the last student out.

When he looked over his shoulder at the last second, Gabriel was pretty sure he saw a disappointed look on Sam’s face. What was that about? He tried not to think about it too hard.

**~[[SPN]]~**

Gabriel was the last one to arrive at Castiel’s car. Both of his siblings were already in the front seats and buckled in when Gabriel showed up. The parking lot was full of students heading to their own cars to leave still so Gabriel hadn’t been _that_ late. He did feel kind of bad for making his siblings wait anyways.

“Hey, Gabey!” Anna greeted him as Gabriel slid into the back seat.

“Hi,” he mumbled. He was still distracted by brown hair and sunflower-eyes. Damn him for being so easily distracted by the one person that shouldn’t take up most of his thoughts. Damn himself for being so stupid and not asking for a new partner.

“How was your day?” Castiel asked. Gabriel was still coming up with his plan for asking for a new partner tomorrow. Because he just _couldn’t_ work with Sam. Not with accidently slipping and he was already struggling to separate his reality from his dreams as it is.

Gabriel looked up and met his older brother’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Hmm?” he asked distantly. Gabriel shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts as if he could just shake them out of his skull.

“I asked how your day was,” Castiel laughed. He had the car started already when Gabriel had gotten in and so Castiel put it into gear and eased out of the parking lot.

“Oh, yeah. Today was great,” Gabriel said. He didn’t think that they really needed to know the whole truth. Because there were just some things he _couldn’t_ explain. “I mean, it’s hard, but…” Castiel met his eyes in the mirror again while Gabriel scrambled to find the right word. “...manageable.”

“Well,” Anna said while looking down at her hands. “We’re here for you.”

They were pulling out of the students’ parking lot now. The traffic was a bit slow because there were only two exits and at least a hundred vehicles trying to get out.

So it’s not that big of a shock that while waiting to make it out of the one-car exit, they pulled up next to the ‘67 Impala. Gabriel was sitting behind Cas and his window was rolled down to let in the cool breeze. Gabriel heard the purr of the engine, looked to his left and connected eyes with Sam Winchester.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Gabriel mumbled. Sam looked away and talked to his brother for a bit.

“Is that Dean?” Anna asked.

Gabriel looked at his older siblings and was puzzled at what he saw. He’s known his siblings since he was born, he grew up with them, knew all of their facial expressions and body languages as well as he knew English. So why did they both look uncomfortable at the mention of Dean’s name?

Castiel’s hands gripped the steering wheel at ten-and-two with arms that were straight and tense. His face was blank and he wasn’t looking at anything or anybody except through the windshield straight ahead of him. He refused to look to his left. Anna was the opposite, she was staring out of Cas’s window and her cheeks were bright with a blood blush. She sagged back into her seat and Gabriel looked back and forth between his siblings.

The car in front of them finally went and Castiel slammed on the gas. The car jerked forward at the same time that the car next to them did. Gabriel watched out of his window as they came inches from scraping the side of their car again the front, right corner of the Impala.

“Castiel!” Gabriel yelled. His older brother was not a reckless driver, he was the opposite actually. It was annoying sometimes how careful he was behind the wheel. Castiel would have never gotten in the accident Gabriel did.

“What?” he asked stiffly. Anna was still deflated in the passenger seat. She just stared at her hands and didn’t say anything.

“What is wrong with you guys,” Gabriel asked. The small spark of worry blew out in his gut. He was worried about his brother and sister.

“He winked, Cas,” Anna said quietly.

Gabriel’s head cocked to the side with how confused he was.  

“Figures,” Cas mumbled.

“What are you guys talking about?” Gabriel shouted. He was tired of being ignored and if that made him sound like a child then that’s what he was being. “How do you know the Winchesters?”

It had to have been the way he said their name because Anna turned around and looked at Gabriel. He saw that she looked shaken up. His sister was like a fortress, she never let anything get to her.

“Damnmit,” Castiel said. “We have to tell him,” he looked over at their sister while she shifted back to facing forward.

Gabriel threw his hands up in the air. Now they had more secrets to tell? “Tell me what? You guys are keeping _more_ from me?”

“It’s not,” Anna started. She paused and looked at the driver, then sighed and continues, “We didn’t tell you because it was something that we did,” she gestured to her and Castiel. “Mom and dad don’t even know.”

Gabriel sat back in his seat and was silent for a little while.  

“We both met Dean Winchester after your accident,” Castiel said. He kept his eyes on the road but continued to talk. “At first, I didn’t know who he was.”

“But I did. And he knew who I was,” Anna cut in. She pulled her phone out, “I’m letting mom know we are going to be home a little late.”

“Why?” Gabriel asks but Castiel was already pulling off into the parking lot outside of their town’s park. Castiel pulled the key from the ignition and turned in his seat to look at the youngest as did Anna after putting her phone away.

“We need to tell you everything,” Cas answered him.

“So talk away,” Gabriel said. He slid down in his seat and sighed. He didn’t want to think about his brother and sisters knowing Dean Winchester. Because that means they had to have talked to Sam and in his head that doesn’t sit right--or maybe it sits too well.

**~[[SPN]]~**

**Castiel //**

Anna’s right, it’s not like they didn’t tell him on _purpose_. They just didn’t want him to be bothered any more than he already was. Especially after he found out about Mary Winchester.

God, this was such a shitty situation.

Anna looked over at him and he knew that she couldn’t start. She still believed what she did was worst, Castiel wasn’t as sure as she was. He swallowed thickly and looked back at Gabriel. He took a deep breath and starting talking, “It was right after your accident. I mean, you were all banged up, Gabe, and we had this doctor telling us…

_“...he might not wake up.” Dr. Brenton said. Castiel noticed that she was pretty and young. But she was alone and so she was old enough to be a good doctor. He had to trust what she was saying was in the best medical professional's opinion._

_“Wha-what?” His mother cried. “He won’t wake up?”_

_“We can’t know for sure,” she said. “I can call my head of neuro in if you’d wish to talk to him-”_

_“Please,” his mom cut in. Of course Castiel understands. They would like to know all the information that they can. The family waits while the doctor leaves the room to page the neuro doctor. Anna tries to talk to her brother, but Castiel stays still. He doesn’t- he_ can’t _talk right now. Not while he sees tubes coming out of little Gabriel and machines that are keeping him breathing. Was it really less than 24 hours ago that Gabriel had been asking to drive separately to school that day so he could go to Charlie’s afterward?_

_It wasn’t long before the new doctor came in. He was older than their dad and walked with his chin up high. His eyebrows were thin and wispy like the hairs that line his top lip that barely constitutes a mustache._

_“Mr. and Mrs. Novak,” he barely looked at Anna and him. The way he only talked to their parents like they were the only ones who deserved to know, pissed Castiel off. But Cas swallowed thickly and paid attention to what he was saying because as much as the sound of his tedious voice irritated him, what he had to say was very important to him._

_“Your son is close to being braindead,” he said. Anna sobbed dryly in the chair next to Cas. Castiel’s face was unmovable. He sat perfectly still and listened to the words. “Normally, the amount of damage his head had taken would almost definitely result in total braindead.”_

_“So that’s it,” Cas’s dad says. “There’s no hope?” He sounds broken and defeated and Castiel would wish for anything to not have to hear his parents’ voices sound so broken._

_“No, I did not say that, did I?” He huffs, looks at Dr. Brenton who just looks away, and continues. “I said normally that would be the case. However, your son’s scans are a little unusual-”_

_“Unusual?” His mother pipes in._

_The doctor huffs again and Castiel believes that he was trying to hold back an eye roll. That indecent fuck._

_“Yes,” be says, clears his throat, and continues. “His brain scans aren’t coming up inactive. Meaning,” he looks around the room, eyes barely looking at Cas as he stares right back. “He still has brain activity. A lot actually-”_

_“That’s a good thing, right?” This time he does give a massive eye roll. Wow, how dare this worried family ask questions about their dying relative? Castiel asks himself sarcastically._

_“Yes, as long as his brain stays active, he will be alive. I’m just not sure how long it’ll be before he regains consciousness.” He pauses then, expecting the question._

_“How long do you think it’ll be?”_

_“Well, it could be a matter of days, or weeks, or even months. We don’t know.” He looks down and adjusts his security pass/ID clipped to the pocket of his lab coat. Castiel thinks that he looks like he doesn’t give two shits about their family being torn apart by his words. He didn’t think he could ever hate a doctor._

_“Let me know if you have further questions,” and with that he leaves. Anna sobs loudly next to him and Castiel instinctively puts a hand on her shoulder to try and soothe her. He’s the only one not crying, even their dad has wet-looking eyes._

_Castiel only sits in the chair a couple minutes longer before he’s out of his seat and chasing after Dr. Rude-Ass. Cas rounds the corner and down the hallway of rooms holding other ICU patients. He catches up to the doctor easily._

_He’s walking away from Cas and attempts to ignore it when Cas calls for him. This only fuels his anger._

_“Hey!” Castiel is close enough to grab the guys shoulder. Castiel doesn’t even know what he’s gonna do, he’s just so angry he wants to get in the guys face and-_

_And his hand never touches the guy. Instead, a different hand came up and grabbed his elbow. Immediately, Castiel was thankful for the mystery arm because his anger deflated faster than a balloon that’s come into contact with a needle._

_Castiel made a noise in the back of his throat while he watched the doctor walk away. He turned around to thank the person who stopped him and met eyes with the boy and could only think of candy-apples._

_“Uh-” Castiel mumbled._

_“Trust me,” the boy with the green eyes said. He still had his hand wrapped around Cas’s elbow and the skin of his arm buzzed pleasantly from the feeling. “You don’t want to bother with him, he’s an ass.”_

_Castiel’s breath catches when the boy smiles._

_“Umm..” Cas berates himself for sounding so dumb all of a sudden. Even if his hands are sweaty and his tongue is dry. “Who are you? Do you go to school here?”_

_“Not yet,” his face breaks off in a grin. “My first day’s Monday.” His hand runs the rest of the way down his arm before falling by his side. Cas’s eyes follow its trail._

_“You got a name? Or should I just know you as the boy I stopped from punching a doctor?” the new boy jokes._

_Castiel looked away, he wasn’t sure why this stranger was so addictive to look at. Yes, he sure was attractive, especially compared to others his age, doesn’t mean Cas shouldn’t be able to look away. “C-Cas,” he cleared his throat. “My name’s Cas.”_

_“I’m Dean,” the boy with the attractive face and green eyes says._

_~~_

_It was a week later, Dean’s second day at the school, that they are hanging out again. After that first day in the hospital, they walked the halls for an hour or so. Castiel talked about what the school was like, who his friends were, and Dean talked about his life back home in Kansas._

_More importantly, Castiel never asked why he was in the hospital and Dean never mentioned it. Same thing with Cas; they just didn’t talk about why they were there. When Castiel looks back on it, he wished they’d just been open and honest with themselves that day._

_It was before first period when Dean came and met Castiel at his locker. Cas had just been talking with Anna and they connected eyes over Dean’s shoulder. They both knew what had happened at this point, they knew who Dean was. Now that Dean’s dad was out of the hospital on bedrest, Dean wasn’t there anymore. So he still didn’t know why Cas was there all of the time. Anna told Cas that he should tell him, that it shouldn’t be going on this long, but Castiel didn’t want to lose their friendship that they’ve made._

_“Well, if your friendship is built on lies then that’s not one to last!” She’d said to him the night before._

_“Anna, please,” he defended. “I will tell him, I just don’t want him…” he struggled to find the words. “I just don’t want him to get hurt even more.”_

_Anna looked at him for a little bit. Her head cocked to the side and eyes squinted. Castiel’s heart thumped a little louder while he waited for her response. “You like him,” is all she said._

_Castiel couldn’t lie to his sister._

_“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, coming up next to him and almost blocking his entire view of his sister._

_“What’s up, Dean?” Castiel turned away from Anna’s gaze._

_There were a lot of students out in the hallway still, so they started walking away from the throng of people. Dean said he needed to ask Cas something privately and so Cas led them to his nearest hiding place. They were both juniors and when Castiel was a freshman he used to get picked on by a lot of bullies. Maybe it was because of his small frame, or his family, or the fact that he was really smart and the bullies typically weren’t, he wasn’t sure. He just got picked on. Over the course of freshman year, Cas had found some hiding spots._

_He took Dean to the nearly abandoned supply closet. It had two shelves in it with some boxes of number-two pencils, three stacks of lined paper, and a half-full trash can. They walked in and Cas flipped on the light._

_“We allowed in here?” he asked. Cas shrugged. “That’s reassuring.”_

_“We’re fine,” Castiel said._

_The two boys stood across from each other and they were both quiet. Castiel rubbed his hands together nervously. Dean smirked at his fidgetiness._

_“What did you want to ask me?” Cas asked._

_Dean’s answer was not verbal. The older boy leaned forward, grabbed Castiel’s face, and pulled him towards his lips. It was gentle at first, their lips barely touching. Cas’s hands came up to Dean’s sides and he rested them there awkwardly._

_Dean laughed at him and pulled away. Castiel has been laughed at before and it always made him feel young and inferior. However, this time, Dean’s laugh was contagious._

_“You can touch me,” he says softly. Castiel nods and presses his lips back to Dean’s._

_Cas’s left hand lifts up and rubs at Dean’s chest while the first three fingers of his right hand hooks on Dean’s front belt loop. Dean’s hands travel down the other boys’ arms and down his back. Castiel made a sound in the back of his throat and Dean tugged him closer. Their lips broke apart and met again before they could even take a full breath._

_Castiel’s brain began to catch up with his actions. Why was he allowing this? Why was he letting Dean trail his fingers through his hair while Castiel knew who killed his mother and Dean didn’t?_

_Oh, but Dean’s lips were just as addictive. As soon as he got a feel for them, Cas knew he would never not want to kiss Dean Winchester._

_“Cas,” Dean groaned as he pulled away. “I have to ask you something.”_

_Castiel took a step back, he wanted to give the boy some space, and Dean stepped forward and followed him. Castiel grinned and Dean mirrored him. “Can I kiss you again?” Cas asked._

_Dean bent forward. And they were off. This kiss was a little faster. This time Cas grabbed at Dean’s hair and tugged him where he needed to be. This wasn’t Castiel’s first kiss by any means, it was just his first with a boy._

_The bell signaling the beginning of first period rang and the two boys ignored it. Their lips stayed interlocked._

_“Okay, okay,” this time Dean was the one to pull away. “I’m glad, we’re both on the same page here.” Castiel laughed at his joke. “But I really need to ask you something.”_

_Castiel nodded his head in encouragement. His fingers came up to rub his slightly swollen lips because they tingled. Neither of them could stop smiling._

_“Now, afterwards, I would love to skip first hour and continue to make out with you in this closet,” Castiel smirked as well and nodded again in agreement._

_“Okay, here it goes…” Dean’s smile dropped and Cas’s stomach filled with dread._

_Did he know? Had he figured it out? It wasn’t like it was private knowledge or anything. Someone at school could have easily said something to him. God, he wished Dean would just ask him._

_“So, I have this thing Sunday,” he started. Castiel tried to quiet his thoughts but could not. “And I was wondering if you had plans on Sunday. Or if you wouldn’t mind coming with?”_

_Castiel ignored the lump in his throat and said, “Like a date?” He was trying to bring back earlier’s light. It didn’t work._

_“Not really. It’s my mother’s funeral.”_

_Castiel instantly felt horrible beyond belief. Firstly, anyone would feel bad after that, but the fact that he just got invited to the person-his-little-brother-just-killed’s funeral by someone who maybe-is-might-be-potential-boyfriend who doesn’t really know who Castiel is yet. This is a fucked up situation._

_“Dean..” Castiel starts. He_ needs _to tell him. Now._

_“I usually wouldn’t ask people to go, not that this happens to me a lot, but you’ve been a really good thing in my life so far.” Dean has to stop and clear his throat as if he’s clearing the thickness and emotion from it. “And I just- You’re basically the only one I know here,” he chokes out. “So I want you to go to help support me, but if it’s too soon-”_

_“I’ll go,” Castiel says._

_“You will?” Dean asks with hopeful eyes. There’s no way Castiel can drag him down when he is this vulnerable right now. Castiel promises to himself that he will tell Dean before his mother’s funeral._

_“If you need the support, then I’ll be there.”_

_They sat in silence for a moment, and then Dean went to lean in again. Apparently, he was just fine now. Castiel wasn’t, he felt like he was going to throw up._

_“Can I ask something now?” Cas said. Dean shrugged._

_“How did she die?” Castiel already knew the answer but he asked for two reasons: one, because it seemed like someone who didn’t know she was dead would ask, and two, he wanted to know what Dean thought of the situation. Castiel expected a nasty answer, it still hurt though._

_“My parents were driving to our new home from a night in the new town when this teenager hit them. He was probably inexperienced or drunk.” His voice was angry. “I swear, whoever it was, I hope they rot in hell.”_

_Castiel couldn’t help but gasp._

_“Anyways, I heard he’s in a coma now,” Dean smirked. “Serves him right.”_

_~~~_

_It was the morning of the funeral and Castiel still hasn’t told Dean. Cas wasn’t sure if he’s ever hated himself more than he did that day. He wore black slacks and a dark dress shirt._

_He was waiting for Dean to come pick him up so they can go to Mary Winchester’s funeral. His family was going too, but Cas wanted to ride with Dean so that he could tell Dean before._

_Anna knocked on Castiel’s bedroom door. As much as he didn’t want to talk to his sister, he knew he should. “Come in,” he said._

_“Castiel,” said when she walked in. She closed the door behind her. “Have you told him?”_

_Castiel didn’t have to say anything, she saw it on his face that he hasn’t._

_“Cas,” her tone was soft but accusing. “Why are you doing this to him? He’s going to find out sooner or later.”_

_“I know,” Cas says. He runs his hands through his hair and makes a frustrated noise. “I know he will. And he’s going to hate me either way!”_

_“Tell him today.”_

_“I plan too,” he admits._

_“Good.” And with that, she walks out of his room and down the stairs._

_It’s a few minutes later that Castiel hears his mother call from the kitchen that Dean is here._

_~~~_

_Castiel walks out to the car and gets in, he notices that it’s just him and Dean. Dean tells him the rest of his family--his little brother and dad--are riding separately._

_“Can I tell you something Dean?” Castiel blurts out after they drive for a few moments._

_“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”_

_For the past few days, Dean had kissed Cas whenever they had gotten the chance too. In the boys’ bathroom on Wednesday with both of them squeezed into one stall, in the backseat of his car Thursday after school before his brother got there, and just yesterday when they met up for some pie at one of the diners in town. But today they didn’t. Dean kept to himself. And Cas really didn’t blame him._

_“It has to do with the teenager in your mom’s accident,” Castiel says. He’s got to get the ball rolling somehow._

_Dean looks over at him. “What, did you know him or something?”_

_Castiel’s mouth is too dry. He can’t get his lips to form the words._

_“Cas?” Dean’s voice gets louder. He pulls off on the side of the road. The older boy turns completely in his seat. “Tell me you didn’t know him,” he pleads._

_All he can do is nod his head._

_“You did know him?” His voice thickens and his eyes start to look wetter. Castiel knew he’d be emotional today, but he didn’t know if this was because Cas was bringing up something horrible or if he just felt betrayed._

_Castiel hoped to God it wasn't the latter._

_“Who was he?” Dean really sounded angry now._

_“Dean-”_

_“No, I want to know who is he. Cuz if you’ve known this entire time..” he trails off and growls in anger._

_“It’s why I was at the hospital, when we first met-” Castiel tries to defend, but Dean cuts him off again and Cas lets him._

_“That was the day of the accident!” Dean pounded the steering wheel a couple of times. Castiel was glad it was the wheel and not his own head._

_“Yes, I know-” Dean cuts him off again._

_“Who is it?” His voice is quiet and he looks at Castiel with dark eyes. For the first time, Castiel is_ scared _to be with Dean._

_“My little brother,” Castiel gets out._

_“He’s your little…” he trails off again in angry. He’s got the steering wheel in a death grip and lays his forehead against the back of his hands. “Get out,” he says quietly._

_Cas thinks he misheard him. “What?”_

_“I said get out!” Dean roars. When he picks his head back up again there are tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks. “You knew this entire time and you didn’t tell me!”_

_Castiel looks away in guilt._

_This seems to anger him more, “You can fucking walk! Get out!” Dean reaches across Castiel and for a moment the boy flinches back into the door because he’s actually afraid Dean might hurt him. Instead, the Winchester just opens the door and before Cas can regain his balance to step out, Dean shoves him out of the car._

_Castiel lands in the muddy grass on the side of the road with a thud. Dean reaches over and slams the door shut. Castiel barely has time to pull his legs back before the car is started and he takes off._

_Castiel stays there on the ground. A sob erupts from his throat and he pulls his head into his arms. He cries loud and hard. It’s the first time he’s let himself cry since it happened. Since everything happened._

_He hadn’t cried afterward because he had distracted himself with Dean. Dean was what kept the tears and the sadness back. And now… Castiel had ruined that too._

“And I haven’t talked to him since,” Castiel tells Gabriel.

Castiel had gotten a little choked up at the end there and he cleared his throat. He ran a hand through his hair and looked around anywhere that wasn’t at his two younger siblings.

“Cas,” Gabe said. “I’m sorry…”

 _Yeah_ , Castiel thought to himself. _So am I._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I MADE DESTIEL SAD.  
> (Spoiler alert: I fix it)  
> PLEASE COMMENT AND LEAVE SOME KUDOS BECAUSE I FEEL I DESERVE IT!!  
> (Just another heads up, the next chapter is Anna's point of view!)


	14. Chapter Thirteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with another update. I just updated yesterday and look at me goooo!   
> This is the second part of the last chapter. Because I had to split them up. But still, I wrote a lot yesterday.   
> And if you couldn't tell, I got today as a snow day, too! 
> 
> Please, enjoy Anna's story!

**Chapter Thirteen // Anna**

Anna hadn’t said much throughout Cas’s entire story. She had known what had happened because when it was happening they both leaned on both of each other. It was really difficult in the beginning. What made what she did worst is that she had already known about Dean and Castiel. 

Their parents leaned on each other and Cas and Anna had each other. Altogether, the family kind of drifted apart. Which sucked but now that Gabriel’s back, the entire family’s been healing. 

“What about you, Anna?” Gabriel asked. 

Anna took a deep breath. “Well, it was only one night at first. Actually, it was…” 

_ Three weeks after Mary Winchester’s funeral. The Novaks had still gone to the funeral home and hadn’t realized what had happened to their son until after they got back home. Castiel said he couldn’t have gone after that. That’s all his parents know, though.  _

_ Anna has been tutoring other students for the last two years. She was the top of her class and had many free study periods, so she used them to help others. How noble of her.  _

_ Until it was no longer noble.  _

_ Dean Winchester had come up to her and asked to be tutored personally. Anna was thrown back because of what happened between this boy and her brother.  _

_ “Are you sure you want  _ me  _ to tutor you?” Anna asked incredulously.  _

_ “Yeah, older sister to my mother’s killer. Why not?” He joked easily.  _

_ At this point, everyone knew him and his brother were the laughing-stock of the school after what happened with them and Adam Milligan. Their father has been cheating on their mom for sixteen years? And now they were forced to all live together like a happy family? Like their mother hadn’t just died?  _

_ “Dean,” she hissed without thought. She grabbed what she needed from her locker and shut it forcefully. She wanted to walk away, it was the end of the day and Cas was probably already waiting for her in his car.  _

_ “What’s wrong, Anna?” He leaned closer to her. Anna felt repulsed. “You going to turn me away?”  _

_ Anna bit her tongue and thought about it for a moment. She’s never really not got anyone she’s tutored less than a B. And he really was failing geometry as a junior. Usually the people she tutors are assigned by teachers who trusted her. Him coming up to her and asking for help like this made her slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it was just him that made her uneasy.  _

_ “Fine,” she snaps. “But we work here in the library within the public eye.”  _

_ He laughs, leans close again and says huskily, “What? You think I’ll hurt you?”  _

_ Anna freezes and doesn’t say anything. His breath floats over her cheek and neck causing gooseflesh to crawl across her skin within seconds.  _

_ He sneers at her again, “Baby, you got nothin’ to worry about.” She can still remember him cackling as he walked away. What did she get herself into?  _

_ ~~~ _

_ Apparently, it wasn’t anything good. The first time they met he behaved. They worked on geometry and she learns exactly how much he doesn’t know. They set up a schedule - every Tuesday and Thursdays after school - and he has to take notes in class and bring everything to these sessions.  _

_ It was the next session that everything changed. He showed up with nothing.  _

_ “Where are your notes?” She asked.  _

_ “Oh, I didn’t bring them,” his cocky attitude is back.  _

_ She sighed impatiently at him. “How am I supposed to help you if you won’t bring the notes?”  _

_ They were in the school’s library today. Before, she’s taken some of the kids she’s tutored home to study there without any problems, but she’s pretty sure bringing Dean home would cause a lot of issues. So they met up in the tables in between shelves of books in the high school media center.  _

_ “Because,” he said and swung into the chair next to her. He scooted really close and she wanted to push back. “I’m not here to learn.” His breath smelled sweet as it tickled her face again. He was so close, a shiver went down her spine and she could feel her nipples tightening underneath her shirt and bra.  _

_ She was going to say  _ Umm, yeah you are, _ but her lips were suddenly busy pressed against Dean’s. She jumped back and would have fallen out of her chair if he hadn’t been there to catch her. His hands on her; one on her thigh and the other her shoulder. He pulls her forward and she is helpless as he does so. He rights her in her chair and she can help but miss his hands once they’re gone.  _

_ “What was that?” She asked him.  _

_ “C’mon! It’ll be fun,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her. _

_ She’s been flirted with before. She’s been hit on and catcalled. But for some reason, what he was doing worked. It might be his attractiveness, it might be his swagger, or it might be that she pitied him. Either way, she gave in.  _

_ “All right, fine.” He perked up. Of course he would, he was about to get his dick wet and he knew it. “But, you have to come out here afterwards to  _ study _.” She put emphasis on the word so that he would get that she was serious.  _

_ “Fair enough,” he smirked.  _

_ They sat there for a little while. Dean was looking her and she was looking away.  _

_ “Let’s go to my car,” he whispered in her ear. She jumped. Would he ever stop doing that? Probably not. _

_ They both got out and walked through the front doors. When she passed the front doors, she had to let the secretary inside the office know that they wanted to be let back in. Their school had the automatic locking doors on the outside, so they would have to be buzzed back in later.  _

_ “What are you doing?” The lady behind the counter asks. She was an older lady with the wide glasses and dress that looks more like a nightgown on.  _

_ “He left his notes and textbook at home, so we have to go get it,” Anna ends her lie with a smile and guilt. She’s trusted with the school because she has given them no reason to doubt her.  _

_ “All right, I’ll let you in.”  _

_ “Okay. Thank you!” She calls out and leaves with Dean in tow.  _

_ “Look at you,” he kids with her. “Such a good student.” As they walk he steps up behind her and whispers in her ear, his breath tickling her neck and sending a pleasant thrill through her, “Wonder what they’d think if they knew what we really going to do?”  _

_ She moved her shoulder and walked a little faster. His hand came around her hip and he leads her to his car. His arm wasn’t an unpleasant weight on her back. Once they got there he opened the back door. She slipped into the backseat.  _

_ “So, have you ever done this before? Or is this how all your tutor sessions end?” He smirks as he follows her into the back seat.  _

_ His questions surprised her so much her hand misses the backseat and she slips. Her shoulder hits the back bench seat hard. She rubs the sore spot and snaps at him, “Are you slut shaming me right now, you ass?”  _

_ “Of course not,” he responded. He slid in beside her and helped her sit up straight. “I just want to know if my partner is experienced or not. I want to know now if I have to walk you through sex.”  _

_ She sneered at him. “No, I’m not a virgin.”  _

_ When his lips met hers again she barely registered him closing the door behind them. After the door was closed, the outside world ceased to exist. His hand came up and caressed her jaw as he tilted her head at the perfect angle to slot their lips together again. Her hands fidgeted in her lap and she didn’t know where to put them.  _

_ “Like brother, like sister,” he mumbled to himself.  _

_ Anna’s pulse was too loud and so she didn’t hear him. “What?” she asked.  _

_ “Nothing,” he muttered as an answer. She was going to ask again but his lips on hers was too much of a distraction. “You can touch me, y’know.” She reached up and ran his hands down her chest.  _

_ “Oh, Dean,” she moaned as he moved over and kissed her neck.  _

_ He was good. She was not doing this her him, she told herself. She was doing this for her. Because she wanted to have sex with someone who promised a good time. And he did deliver.   _

_ Afterward, when their breathing had calmed down they sat in the back seat. He had laid down a blanket so they weren’t sitting bare-assed on the leather seat. He had also handed her the closest article of clothing--his t-shirt--to lay across her chest so she doesn’t have to feel so exposed.  _

_ “You know this won’t change anything,” he said.  _

_ “Change what?”  _

_ “I still hate your little brother.” His tone was even and asked for no arguments. She nodded her head. It was no longer a subject that brought immediate tears to her eyes.  _

_ “Fair enough,” she said. Was that considered betraying Gabriel? She wasn’t sure. She looked over at him, “Even if we continued this?”  _

_ Dean smiles at her. It’s a genuine smile and she hates herself for how her heart jumps a little. But she scolds herself right then and there. Cas did the feelings thing and that didn’t work. She promised herself that she would leave her heart out of it.  _

“So how much did you sleep with him?” Gabriel asked. 

“Gabe!” Castiel half-shouted. But when Gabriel looks back at his older sister, they are both smiling. Anna was glad this can be a joke between them now. She had been so afraid that what she did would have torn them apart to an unfixable territory. So if they had to crack jokes at her expense, then by all means, she would let them. 

“Only two more after that. Because he started passing again.” 

“Well then,” Castiel said. They all laughed together. 

**~[[SPN]]~**

**Gabriel //**

“So that’s how you know Dean, eh?” Gabriel asks. Both of his siblings just nod their head. Anna stretches in her seat and Gabriel laughs to himself. He likes that they can talk about this stuff, he missed the jokes and the light air between him and his siblings. 

“At least you don’t have to be with Sam and not remember making out with him all the time.” 

It wasn’t until both of his older siblings looked back at him with dual confused looks that Gabriel realized what he said. And then it was suddenly-  _ fuCK mE.  _

“Umm…” He tried to come up with ways to explain his joke that wasn’t the truth. He was too busy cursing himself out for being so stupid. All he wanted to do was joke with his siblings as well and now he fucked everything up.

“You have to explain that,” Anna said. Castiel nodded in agreement and Gabriel actually started to panic. 

“How about no?” Gabriel said. “I’m ready to go home!” 

“You haven’t been awake more than a month, and as far as anyone knows, the Winchesters have hated you this entire time,” Castiel said. They both leaned against their seat and stared at Gabriel. Gabriel wanted to be anywhere else. 

“And you manage to make out with Sam?” Anna finished for him. They were both smiling at him. 

Gabriel panics. He stares out his left side window and watches a few cars go by. He can feel the weight of their stares and yet he didn’t move. When he glances back at them, they must have seen the panic in his eyes so they dropped their smirks. 

“I didn’t even know you were into guys,” Castiel said softly. 

“I could say the same for you, Cassie,” Gabriel turned back and teased. Castiel looked away and Gabriel could see a light blood blush staining his cheeks. 

“Well, I’m not surprised.” She leans back in her chair and smirks. Both him and Castiel laugh. Then Castiel turns forward and starts the car again. Gabriel’s glad the moment’s passed for now. Because he really didn’t feel like explaining that to them. As much as they just opened up to him, he knows they deserve for him to do the same, but Gabriel just is not ready. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops, Gabriel almost had to explain his dreams! *laughs evilly* 
> 
> Remember, just because the last two chapters are so close together doesn't mean you shouldn't comment on both! Please, I love reading all of them!


	15. Chapter Fourteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all that took the time to comment on the last chapter. I know it's been almost a month since my last update and I apologize even if it sounds like a broken record. I've been going through a bit of writer's block despite already knowing how I want the rest of the story to go. 
> 
> But then I got the notification late last night that I had gotten a comment. That gave me the inspiration to write and the results being a whole chapter for you all today. Seriously, guys, youre comments help me so much. So please keep them coming! Thank you again if you already have. 
> 
> *Warning* There is a lot of swearing in this particular chapter.

**Chapter Fourteen // Gabriel**

This time, Gabriel wasn’t worried. His palms and back were dry, his chin was held high and his face was neutral. He was at his locker, it was in between sixth and seventh period. He had an idea for his art project with Sam. It was also an apology to him. 

Since Gabriel woke up, little more than a month ago, he hasn’t dreamed. He would lay down, exhausted, close his eyes, and open them and it’s morning. There were no more fantasies, no more dreams, and no more pretending in his head. It wasn’t strange at all, in fact, it never really registered. Until last night, when he had dreamt up his idea. 

Gabriel woke up and seemingly possessed, he sketched out the idea on the piece of paper folded up in the back pocket of his jeans. He wasn’t an artist, but the sketch was  _ good _ . 

“Hey, Gabey!” Charlie called from behind him. Children still filled the halls and the line of lockers. Friends and lovers alike were leaning against other lockers to talk to their people. Gabriel pushed past two girls laughing loudly and obnoxiously. 

“What’s up?” Gabriel asked, curling his lips into a smile. He’s been faking light-heartedness all day with this friends. He’s not nervous or scared, he felt nothing. It’s been like that since the moment he woke up. 

“I just wanted to say ‘hey’,” Charlie said. She touched his shoulder, smiled, and walked the other way. Gabriel’s face fell as soon as she was gone. 

Entering the art room was the easy part. His art teacher was at the front of the room, telling everyone to get with their partners and she’ll take attendance later. Sam was already in the chair next to his own. 

Swallowing thickly, he propelled himself forward. Anxiety crept up his back with slimy hands, he did his best to push the dark monster back. He was fine. Nothing to be worried about. The closer he got to the boy sitting next to his seat, the heavier the note in his back pocket felt. He’d talked himself through his speech, or his explanation of the sketch. Majority of it was lies, but that didn’t matter. 

“Hey,” Sam grunted out when Gabriel sat down. The chair’s metal legs scraped against the hard floor as he scooted himself in. The bell rang loudly, anyone else who walks through the door will be marked tardy. 

Gabriel nodded at Sam and his hand went around his side and he titled his hips up to pull the note from his back pocket. It wasn’t actually a note, it was his Algebra homework but when he’d tried to redraw it onto a blank piece of paper it had looked terrible. So, he’ll be missing that assignment for a little while. 

“So..” Sam tried again. Gabriel held the folded up paper in his own hands. Was he ready to show Sam? Probably not. “Have you thought about what you wanna do?” 

Gabriel’s eyes follow the lines of ink showing on the paper. The assignment part was showing out. It read: “...solve the linear equations by using X=” and then a bit of the first problem. It’s not like Gabriel was going to do it anyways. 

“A little bit,” he admitted. Maybe he should listen to Sam’s idea first? 

“What’s that?” Gabriel thought Sam’s voice had taken a lighter, more whispery tone. Maybe he was leaning a little closer to whisper. Gabriel didn’t know, he refused to let himself look over at Sam. 

“Umm…” Gabriel was failing hard. “It’s a sketch of an idea-” 

“Great, what does it look like?” Sam asked, straightening in his chair. Gabriel heard the squeal of the legs on the hard floor as Sam pulled his chair closer. They were getting dangerously close, like almost enough for their knees to be touching. Gabriel so did not want a repeat of last time. 

“What ideas do you have?” Gabriel blurted out. He began to feel the first tendrils of nervousness again. He wasn’t sure if he should show  _ this _ Sam.  

“I haven’t done much thinking. I mean,” he bites his bottom lip enough that the surrounding skin turns white and his eyes a bright today. His lips were always something that distracted Gabriel like no other. Especially when they were on his or on his neck. 

And just like that, Gabriel’s thinking of one of the first times he’d gone over to Sam’s house. Well, not real Sam. But  _ his _ Sam.  _ It was kind of late, his mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner and his dad and Dean had just left to run up to the store in town. They didn’t have enough of something, Gabriel can’t remember anymore. Sam and he were left to watch TV in the living room, having already offered to help with dinner.  _

_ The memory is a fond one. Sam and Gabriel on the couch together, then Sam’s arm laying across his shoulders. And then Sam’s breath lightly on his neck. Just because it’d been one of the early times Gabriel was at Sam’s house doesn’t mean they hadn’t been going strong and steady for a little bit.  _

_ “Hey,” Sam had mumbled. Gabriel couldn’t remember what was on the TV because he wasn’t really paying attention to it anymore. “Can I kiss you?”  _

_ Gabriel looks over and smiles. And then their lips were sealed together. He felt hands in his hair and on this shoulder. Sam’s mom was in the kitchen and not yelling at them. They had a moment. Sam’s lips were like a drug and whenever he saw them, he just wanted to kiss them- _

He looks away from Gabriel. Dammit, Gabriel thinks as he looks away. “I have a couple moments in my life that are important, so I wouldn’t mind… y’know?” 

“Like, memories?” Gabriel asked. They were turned towards each other now. Gabriel gave up on trying not to look at the boy who was his greatest weakness. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Sam cleared his throat and looked back at Gabriel’s hands still holding the yet-to-be-revealed-to-him sketch. 

Get a grip, Novak, Gabriel thought and began to unfold the note. “So, I was thinking about the assignment. And we are supposed to combine our two personalities, yeah?” 

Sam nodded, his eyes staring at the freshly opened paper. 

The sketch had a line drawn down the middle of the paper. On one half, it had Gabriel’s face--and of course, it wasn’t the  _ best _ drawing ever it was actually an outline of his own head’s shape with his name printed in the middle of the blank face--except, the face was split in half. The left side of the face was Sam’s side of the face. Above the head, there was a couple of blank thought bubbles. 

“So, I was thinking we each get a side. And then we can fill the sides with whatever we wanted.” Gabriel pauses to look at Sam again, he was still staring intently at the paper, and then encouraged with, “What do you think?” 

“I like it...” Sam muttered. 

“But?” Gabriel knew it was coming. 

“But… what are you putting down as memories? Like, serious or light-hearted memories?” Sam’s eyes looked up at Gabriel’s. 

_ Just a hint of Sam’s tongue on his bottom lip when Dean was suddenly right there. “Hey guys!” he cheered.  _

_ Sam and Gabriel jumped apart so fast and Sam’s head and smacked into his older brothers. Gabriel had knocked into a vase of roses on the table behind the counter and it had fallen onto his lap. Maybe the glass vase was chipped or a rose had a particularly sharp thorn but they had scraped down Gabriel’s right arm, leaving behind an open wound that began welling up with blood.  _

_ “Dean!” Sam yelled the same time Dean yelled, “Oh shit,” as the flowers went down. The water in the vase had splashed on the two still on the couch.  _

_ The crash had gotten the attention of the adults and it was made a bigger deal than necessary. Especially when Sam helped Gabriel clean up his scratch.  _ Gabriel almost smiled when he thought of it. Because Sam had been so concerned but it had only been just a scratch. 

“Gabriel?” Sam asked. The sound of his voice really snapped Gabriel back to the future- err, reality. 

He struggled to remember Sam’s question. “Either or,” he blurted out. “It can be simple memories or not so… simple.” Sam nodded and looked away. 

They were quiet for a little while. Gabriel stared at his hands. He really didn’t want to look at Sam. He didn’t want to look at him or his stupid eyes or his stupid lips because he didn’t want to think about him anymore. He just wanted to forget his dreams. 

He was still cursing himself when the other boy spoke up, “I have an idea for a light-hearted memory. Kind of a fond one actually,” Gabriel looked up. He had a small smile on his lips. 

It was probably one of his mother, he wanted to make Gabriel feel even worse than he already did about that. Or maybe it was about him and his brother. A fond memory with his family-

“I had this.. friend,” he seem to pause a little bit and watch for Gabriel’s reaction. But he didn’t have one so Sam continued talking. “And there was this one time, I was just thinking about it a second ago. And like, we’d been sitting together…” his face seemed to flinch almost when he paused. 

Gabriel raised his eyebrows in confusion. Why was talking about this so hard for Sam? 

“My brother had been so obnoxiously stupid and had scared the both of us. I forget what happened exactly, but this vase of flowers had fallen. On my friend, I mean. It had been on this table behind us or something. And like, h-he got cut up a little bit. Which isn’t the fun part-” Sam’s hand came up and scratched the back of his neck. Gabriel knew he was nervous. “-but it was just like, one of those…” he couldn’t think of the right words. 

Sam looked over at Gabriel and stopped talking. Gabriel’s left hand came up to his right elbow and his thumb traced the line the rose’s thorn had cut as it had fallen. His face must be showing some weird signs but Gabriel’s pretty sure his brain has shut down because- what the fuck?  _ What the fuck? _

Had he slipped up? Was Sam mocking him for some cruel reason? Had he mentioned or been talking when he was thinking about the memory Sam just fucking described? How did Sam know? How did he  _ fucking know? _

“Gabe-” 

“What the fuck?” Gabriel said. His arms and chest felt numb. He was freaking out. Because how the fuck did Sam know? He hadn’t told anyone about his dreams, let alone that particular memory. 

“Hey,” Sam whispered, looking around. Gabriel’s outburst had attracted some unwanted attention for others in the room. But Gabriel didn’t really care. He just wanted to fucking know how Sam knew some shit he  _ shouldn’t _ know. 

“No, no-” Gabriel takes a deep breath. He leans forward a little, “How the fuck do you know about that?” 

“Know about what?” 

“The fucking vase, Sam, and the cut down my arm!” Gabriel’s voice was raised again. He looked around the room and saw too many eyes on them, on him. He saw the teacher standing up from helping another student and walking towards them. Gabriel wasn’t fit for that kind of conversation right now. 

So much for being calm and collected, Gabriel thinks as he heads for the door. He doesn’t run, but he doesn’t really walk slowly anyways. He hears the teacher call his name, but he doesn’t stop.

His is the second time since he’s woken up that Sam Winchester has made him run from a classroom with tears in his eyes. He is freaking out. And all he wants to do is go home he wants to sleep and pretend this never happened. If he can just be by himself he can try to think and figure out what the fuck just happened-

“Gabriel!” Sam, of all people, call from behind him. Gabriel is starting to pick up the pace. He doesn’t have an explanation for Sam, he doesn’t even want to look at him-

A hand grabs his shoulder and he’s being whipped around to face the one boy who has destroyed his sanctuary over and over. Gabriel squeezes his eyes shut because he’s actually crying now and he doesn’t want to cry in front of the boy he loves, the boy who hates him. 

“Gabe, look at me,” Sam pleas. 

Now both Sam’s large hands are on Gabriel’s shoulders. When Gabriel still doesn’t open his eyes the taller boy shakes him. 

“I-I can’t,” Gabriel admits. “I don’t-t know how-how you knew that,” Gabriel swallows thickly. He takes in a shuddering breath and opens his eyes. “But please, don’t mess with me. Of all things, I am fighting  _ so hard _ ,” and Gabriel sobs out the last words. 

“What are you fighting?” Sam steps back. His hands aren’t grabbing Gabriel anymore, but they don’t stop touching. “I came out here to figure out why you reacted like that-”

“What do you mean, my reaction? Wasn’t that the point?” Something flashes in Sam’s eyes. Hurt maybe? Gabriel couldn’t tell. 

Sam takes another step back and his arms fall to his sides like limp noodles. Like they’re suddenly as numb as Gabriel feels. 

“Why would I want you to react like that?” Sam’s eyebrows scrunch together and of all things, Gabriel wants to reach out and flatten the lines there with his thumb. God, he wants to be able to just touch Sam again. 

Gabriel knows Sam is just baiting him with a question like that, but Gabriel’s took upset right now to care. He whips at the tears on his cheeks and says, “Because you and you’re brother hate me! I get it, I know I deserve it after what I did. But please,” he pauses to breathe. His nose is too clogged with snot to breath out of, “Don’t mess with me like that.” 

“I already forgave you for that,” Sam says. It’s almost too quiet for Gabriel to even hear. 

“You what? Why?” Sam just keeps hitting him with more and more surprises. 

“Because,” Sam says, his face softening. “It was an accident. It’s not like you purposely wanted to-” he cuts himself off, still too painful to talk about. 

“Of course it was an accident,” Gabriel admits. Relief floods his system. Sam doesn’t hate him and he sounds like he hasn’t hated him for a while. Why did that feel like a victory to Gabriel? 

They pause again and Gabriel wipes the rest of his tears from his face, they stopped falling. Nobody has come chasing after them so Gabriel guesses Sam asked the art teacher to stay back. 

“How did you know I was talking about you?” Sam asks quietly. His voice was raw and he sounds like the one who’s crying. 

“What?” Gabriel asks, he’s still reeling from the fact that Sam already forgave him. Gabriel has hated himself for so long because he thought Sam did too. 

“When I was talking about the story about the vase. You said something about the cut down  _ your _ arm. I never said who my friend was, but you knew it was you?” Sam nervously leans side to side, like he can’t decide which foot to hold most of his wait. 

Gabriel’s palms started to sweat, he wiped them on his sides. Why was Sam asking the things that Gabriel should be asking  _ him _ ? Gabriel’s the one who had the dreams, not Sam. How did he know about them? 

“Like,” Sam continued when Gabriel still hadn’t answered. Sam usually talked more when he was nervous. “It was a dream I had, not a memory. And I never told anyone about them. I don’t know how you know-” 

“Wait, what?” Gabriel asks. Sam steps closer. Gabriel steps back. He feels like there’s a wall between them. The closer Sam gets the more nauseous and horrible Gabriel feels. “You had dreams too?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* Sam dreamt of Gabriel while he was in a coma.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> *laughs evilly* I have been planning this chapter for a while. Let me know what you think? And how should Sabriel become a thing, because c'mon, everyone knows it was going to happen.  
> \ () /  
> | (This is suppose to be a very happy person, my apologies if that's not what it looks like)  
> ./ \\.


	16. Chapter Fifteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back again! Your least favorite author! Woot woot! I kiiiiiiinda tried to get this out soon because it's a continuation of the last chapter. But someone is a huuuge slacker. Oh well, y'all still love me (please agree, I'm desperate for people's approval).

**Chapter Fifteen // Gabriel**

“You had dreams too?” Gabriel hears himself blurt out. His entire body feels like it’s on fire. He doesn’t want- he can’t keep having this conversation. A little part of him still thinks Sam is just messing around with him, but.. How? How would he know anything _about_ Gabriel’s dreams? He never spoke a word to anyone about it. Gabriel’s thoughts wiz by as he tried to figure it out.

The words echo around the inside of Gabriel’s head, ‘ _it was a dream’_ and _‘I never told anyone’_ keep bouncing around. God, what if Sam was telling the truth? Is it possible that they could have been dreaming the same thing-

No.

He shut his mind down. There was no way he was even going to continue _thinking_ it.

“Yes,” Sam said. _No_ Gabriel thinks harshly.

Sam frowned as Gabriel started walking backward. Gabriel’s body is ahead of his mind, it’s flight time, boys. He looks away from Sam and turns and runs. He doesn’t want to hear anymore, so he won’t. Tomorrow he’ll ask to be swapped partners or, hell, he’ll even take a zero in the grade book if it meant he didn’t have to ever speak to Sam Winchester again.

**~[[SPN]]~**

How fucking dare he? Gabriel thinks.

After literally running away from Sam he hid in the boys’ bathroom for the rest of the hour. His back against the cold wall and the side of the toilet digging into his hip and thigh with how he’s crouched down. When the bell rang, he was at his locker and heading out the doors to the student parking lot quicker than ever.

But when he was on his way to Cas’s getaway, guess who was leaning against the front of the yell-tinted car? Gabriel thought he was done talking with Sam forever. He’s pretty sure someone didn’t get the memo.

Gabriel tries his best to ignore him.

“Gabe,” Sam says. Gabriel keeps his eyes forward as he goes to open the back door behind the driver’s side. It’s locked. Dammit, Cas usually beats him here. So he just assumed that he kept the car unlocked.

“Please, talk to me?” Sam is standing next to him now. Gabriel can feel him standing there like he can feel something radiating off of him or something. Gabriel closes his eyes and swallows. He can do this. He can wait a couple of minutes for Cas and Anna to get here and take him home, he can ignore the most infuriating, most emotion-wrecking person Gabriel’s ever known.

Sam takes a step back and leans against the driver’s side door. He crosses his arms and looks at the shorter boy. Gabriel can physically feel his eyes on him. It excites and destroys him at the same time.

How unfair is this? That there was a part of Gabriel that wanted to talk to him. To get the truth. But Gabriel’s been toyed with for too long, especially by Sam. He’s not going to stick his neck out chasing some half-cocked truth and risk getting cut up by the inevitable joke Sam’s playing on him. He’s not _mentally stable_ enough for that.

“Gabe,” _No,_ Gabriel thinks again. That name sounds so sweet dripping from his lips; like the sweetest poison. “Gabe…”

“Would you stop calling me that!” Gabriel barks. Not a lot of times he’s been called that since he woke up, but every time someone does it makes him remembers things. Things like how that was _his_ Sam’s favorite thing to call him. Yes, other people use that name on him, but not the way _Sam_ says it. He hates hearing that nickname because that’s the one thing he’s waited for _real_ Sam Winchester to say-

Wait. How easy was it for that name to roll off his tongue? Was it a familiar sound that’s come out of his mouth before? Maybe-

_No._

“Well, you talked to me. That’s a start,” Sam says. He leans down a little bit, trying to catch the other boy’s eye. Gabriel sees it out of his peripheral and looks to his right, towards the front of the school currently emptying of its students.  

When he looks, he sees his older brother and sister staring at them. They’re far enough away that they can’t hear what’s going on but the scene might as well seem bizarre. Hell, Gabriel feels bizarre himself.

“Hey,” There’s something about Sam’s tone that Gabriel is almost automatically drawn too. He looks and sees Sam smile and all he can do is curse himself out internally.

“What, Sam?” he whispers.

Sam’s so close he heard it clearly. They both are whispering now. And Gabriel feels like they are in their own bubble, in their own world. Nothing outside of them registers.

“I need to talk to you, please.” His eyes plead more than his voice does.

Gabriel nods his head. He knows they should talk, but why? Why is he giving into Sam so easily? Oh yeah, being stupidly in love with someone like he is can do that.

“Where?” A part of Gabriel cheers, the other part curses again. Something coils deep in his belly. He’s not sure what it is. It’s hot, whatever it is. Fear? Dread? Excitement? Anticipation? Any of the above. Confusion fogs his head

Sam smiles again, his lips stretching over perfect teeth. He leans closer a moment Gabriel thinks they’re going to kiss. His heart speeds up and his head swims in the possibility of feeling Sam’s lips on his again. _For the first time,_ he reminds himself.

However, Sam’s lips move to his ear, “Under the bridge, tonight.”

His breath ghosts over Gabriel’s neck and shivers course through his spine. Gooseflesh bump up his arms and legs and he can feel his nipples harden under his shirt. So much of him wants to feel Sam pressed against him. But he can’t. They only want to talk. Except-

Except, if Gabriel’s on the same page Sam is, under the broken down bridge on the north side of town, about a ten-minute walk from his house, is where Sam and Gabriel loss their virginity together. Gabriel feels the flare of arousal in his lower gut

From the look on Sam’s face when he pulls away, they both are on the same page.

“Okay, Sam-”

Loud music and an equally loud engine interrupt him. Dean’s pulled up right in front of Castiel’s car. Once Dean sees exactly whom his kid brother is talking with, his face gets a look of hatred. Well, if Sam’s forgiven him, it’s evident that Dean has not.

“Sammy,” he barks out. “Stop hanging out with garbage and let’s go!”

Gabriel must have made a face at the insult because Sam’s hand comes up to cup his left elbow. It’s his form of an apology. Gabriel’s not sure if he accepts it or not, but he knows for certain that he’ll be meeting Sam under the bridge.

Castiel runs in front of the car Dean’s driving, he looks pissed, “The fuck did you just call my brother!?” His voice is deep and loud and calls the attention of quite a lot of other students trying to leave.

Dean whips the door open. He’s out of the car and in Gabriel’s older brother’s face in three seconds flat. Both Gabriel and Sam run towards the two boys and Gabriel can see Anna running towards them from the other side of the car.

“You wanna say that again?” Dean challenges. Sam’s left Gabriel’s side and now has a hand on his brother’s shoulder, attempting to pull them away.

“I wanna know what your fucking issue with my brother is?” Castiel rarely swears, his voice is cold enough to slightly scare Gabriel.

Dean leans back and laughs, brings his right arm up and brushes Sam’s hand off of him. “Quite the older brother, huh?” Dean’s smiling. And Gabriel can tell that will make Castiel even more pissed.

It wasn’t like it was in the movies, Castiel didn’t know how to throw a punch, he doubted any of them did. But still, his arm went back and his hand - fist or not, Gabriel couldn’t see - came up and made contact with the side of Dean’s face. The older Winchester barely moved with the impact.

“Cas!” Anna shouted.

Dean’s arms came up and grabbed both of Castiel’s shoulders. He leaned in close and whispered to him. Their voices were too soft to hear.

After a second, Dean let him go. He shoved him once and then walked back to his car. Castiel didn’t move for a long time, still standing in front of the car. The principal had been alerted by the commotion and he and another teacher were on their way over but stopped when they saw Dean walk away.

“I’m gonna just…” Sam said with only barely turning back to Gabriel. The shorter boy nodded. Sam walked around Cas and the front of the shiny, black car to bend down into the passenger seat.

Anna met up with Cas and they both walked towards their car. Gabriel watched Dean pull the car out of the students’ parking lot.

“C’mon, let’s go home,” Castiel said, a little bit disgruntled.

Gabriel followed.

**~[[SPN]]~**

Castiel said they wouldn’t tell their parents. Which is just another secret wedging a block between Gabriel and his parents; he agreed his older brother.

Once they were home and Gabriel and his siblings greeted their mom and dad, Gabriel said he was swarmed with homework and needed to be by himself to do it. The quiet, was his excuse, that he needed it to concentrate. His mom nodded and said she’d call when dinner was done.

Now he was alone in his room and able to think. What did he think about Sam now? He’s pretty damn sure Sam and he somehow had the same dreams. But why?

Gabriel sat on his bed, surrounded by books - because of course he has homework - and attempted to understand his algebra notes. He took them in class but it was a little confusing because he still isn’t finished with all of the work from the missing gap. Maybe he’ll call for Anna in a second to help him.

“Fuck me,” Gabriel says to himself. Now he had to deal with multiplying exponents? He runs his hands through his hair. Yeah, there was no way he was getting through this right now, Anna or now Anna. He pushed the hateful book off of his lap and rolled over to the edge of his bed.

Sam never gave him a time all he said was _tonight_. When was that? In an hour? Tonight? After midnight? Gabriel wasn’t sure when he could get away. It would have to be after dinner when everyone was in their rooms and getting settled down for bed. He might just be able to sneak out the front door because there was no way he could jump out of his second-story window. He wasn’t stupid.

Yeah, he decides. After dinner he’ll leave. Then he and Sam can find out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0_0 *singing off-key* Gabey's gonna go meeet Sam! ^_^
> 
> Please share your thoughts. I need everyone's comments and kudos! They give me life. 
> 
> Also (I wasn't going to say anything, but oh well!), I have two and a half more chapters written not including this one. So like... the next few updates are going to be kinda soon. So look forward to them! 
> 
> And on a completely UNrelated note, I need some cute date ideas. Give me all of the ideeeeeaaaassssss.


	17. Chapter Sixteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time, I made a joke about me being y'all's worst writer and I got a few people telling me that was not true. I did respond to them, but I just wanna tell you all (and especially those couple) that I love you guys. I really don't know how else to say it. 
> 
> Here's to y'all! Enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter Sixteen // Gabriel**

“How’s school, Gabriel?” His father asks while scooping more spaghetti onto his plate. It was in a semi-large pot in the middle of the table. His family surrounded the table as they enjoyed their meal. “I bet it’s been a struggle.”

Gabriel takes a deep breath through his nose, still chewing with his mouth closed, swallows, and then answers with, “Yes, it’s been hard. But I’ve been getting through it.” His mouth is quiet but in his mind, he says,  _ no thanks to you. Thanks for ‘caring!’ _

“I think he’s really getting there,” Anna speaks up. “He hasn’t really needed my help.” She sounded so cheerful, like the fact that Gabriel hadn’t come crawling to her with tears in his eyes was because she was so wonderful.  _ Because you are such a saint, Anna! _

“That’s so good,” their mom says. ”I’m glad you guys have been so supportive with your brother at school,” Gabriel watches both Anna and Castiel nod and forces himself to hold his breath in an attempt to repress his sigh. Gabriel swirls his fork in the middle of his plate, his appetite running out faster than a blown up beach ball with a hole. 

“You’re welcome, mom,” Anna says. Castiel’s not sucking up because his mouth is full of food. But Gabriel knows that as soon as it’s clear of food he’ll compliment his mother on her cooking skills. 

Sometimes, Gabriel hated his family. But he sticks with the idea that in just a few hours he’d be able to meet Sam. He decided a little bit ago that he would leave at twenty minutes after nine o’clock. That way he’d be getting there at about nine-thirty. That way he will have a little leeway for time because dinner’s usually done by six-thirty - it’s ten after now - and then everyone else goes into their room at eight o’clock. 

Dinner drags on for ten extra minutes despite it being a quick meal. More of his parents talking about their day and more of his siblings sucking up. It wasn’t until Gabriel was heading up to his room, making a mental list of all of the things he wanted to put in his bag before he left, that Castiel stopped him. 

“Gabriel,” Castiel said from his bedroom. His door was open and Gabriel saw Cas sitting on his bed. Had Gabriel not made eye contact with his older brother he would have kept walking. 

“Yes?” The younger boy stood in the door frame. He yawned in his way of showing that he was tired. Which, actually, he was exhausted, but the thought of sneaking out to see  _ Sam _ gave him quite the rush. 

“I just wanted to talk to you a bit before bed,” Castiel says. 

Gabriel loves his brother, he does. But sometimes he can sure be a pain in the ass. Because Gabriel knew he was going to talk about what happened earlier. He just fucking knew it. “How’s the hand?” 

“Oh,” Cas says, looking down at his reddened knuckles. “It’s not bad. Barely hurts anymore.”

“Why’d ya do it Cas?” Gabriel asked. He leaned against the left side of the door frame. Maybe he was a bit more tired than he thought. It was almost hard to believe that it had just been last night that he had been up all night drawing that stupid sketch… 

“Because Dean is…” he trails off and looks away, and for the first time, Gabriel sees something else in his brother’s face. Maybe he hadn’t been the only one heartbroken by a Winchester.  

“Did you love him?” Gabriel doesn’t acknowledge, but he sure as hell doesn’t miss Castiel flinch at the L word. 

It’s a long time before his older brother answers. And even then it’s only a shrug. “Dean and I had… something,” Castiel’s voice trembled only slightly. 

Gabriel almost cracks right there. When his brother is down in pain he wants to tell Castiel his story. He wants to tell him that yes, he feels the same way about Sam. But that was a whole other shit hole to jump into. Besides, he has a date to catch. 

_ A date? _ He thinks. Castiel’s head is turned away so Gabriel has time to wipe the smile off of his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says. “I don’t mean to dump my problems on you. I wanted to talk to you about earlier. Why were you talking to Sam Winchester?” 

Gabriel keeps his face calm. “We were, uh, paired together. For this art thingy,” he reaches up and scratches the back of his neck. “And we, uhh.. Were just finishing up talking about it, ‘cuz it’s our last hour, y’know?” 

Castiel nods along with Gabriel’s answer, but then asks, “Then why did you look so pissed?” 

Gabriel takes a deeper breath. He didn’t think ‘ _ because he pisses me off because, at the time, I thought he was lying to me about something important but now that I’ve thought it over I don’t think that anymore’ _ was a really good answer. “Because we were, uh, arguing,” his voice picks up at the end and he curses himself internally.

“Was that an answer or a question?” His calm tone kind of pisses Gabriel off now. That seems to be a recurring emotion of Gabriel, hasn’t it? 

“What are you, my interrogator?” Gabriel snaps back. Why was it any of Cas’s business anyway? So what if he was talking to Sam Winchester. It is none of his or any of their business what he does with that Winchester brother. 

Just like it’s none of their business that one of the items on his mental list of things to bring tonight is his bottle of lube he stores between his mattress and box spring. What’s it to them if he wants to be prepared for anything. 

Gabriel’s point is that it’s not their business. And his family needs to butt the hell out. 

“Gabriel,” Castiel starts in his super condescending,  _ I’m the older brother so I know all _ tone. Gabriel was tired of talking to him. 

“Yeah, just shut up.” He backs out of his brother’s room and walks towards his door. He can hear Castiel get up after him. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight!” He yells as he slams the door in his brother’s face. 

It’s a little bit of time before he hears Castiel walk away. Once he knows the hallway is quiet outside his door, Gabriel pulls up his backpack, it’s still empty from earlier because all of his homework is still strewn across his bed from when he’d tried to work on it earlier. 

He filled it first with a sweatshirt, it was kind of cold outside in late March, but he wanted to bring something extra to throw on just in case. The next thing is two bottles of water - the walk was only ten minutes, which isn’t a terrible distance but, he was just in a coma a few months ago. Along with the water he has a couple of granola bars and a package of M&Ms. There are a few other items and then the lube of course. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, he wasn’t even counting on sex being a thing that happens, but hey, he was going to be prepared. 

After the bag was packed and shoved under his bed in case any of his family decided to make an uninvited appearance. It probably wouldn’t be his parents because once they went to bed they were there watching TV until they both fell asleep. He hadn’t seen Anna since dinner and Castiel was probably too pissed at him to talk anymore. 

Oh well, Gabriel thought. 

For the remaining time, Gabriel looked at his science homework. They were currently learning about plant reproduction. What a boring topic. He closed his book when his eyes started blurring the words on the page. If he sat down any longer, he was going to fall asleep. 

It was 9:12. Close enough, right? 

Gabriel wanted to make sure the coast was clear. So Gabriel cracked his door open and peered outside. There was no one. He let his door swing all of the way open but didn’t let it bang against the wall. The house was dark and the only thing that lit up the hallway was the light coming from the small crack under Castiel’s door. He was still awake so Gabriel had to be extra quiet. 

Gabriel went back to get his bag, pulled the straps over his shoulder, and walked out of his room. His door shuts loudly, so he left it open a tiny crack. The stairs weren’t loud, the house fairly new so there weren’t any weird creaks as he makes his way to the front door. 

Only, he should have made sure that Castiel had been in his room. And not in the bathroom. Gabriel almost screamed when the toilet flushed as he was walking by. Gabriel froze, he had like ten seconds while his older brother washed his hands. There was the bathroom door five steps from the bottom of the stairs and then their parents’ room right across the hallway. 

He walked as quietly as possible past the two doors. He ducked around the corner into the kitchen as the bathroom door opened and prayed that Castiel wasn’t looking for a little snack before bed as well. 

He wasn’t, Castiel carried on up the stairs and didn’t even wonder why his little brother had strangely left his door open. Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief. He waited there for a second, letting his heart rate so down a bit before he continued through to the front door. 

The front door was a set of big oak doors and he knew the top hinge was loose so the door dragged when you opened it. Gabriel was careful to pick it up and make an almost silent escape. If he made any noises and alerted anyone, he was outside and couldn’t tell. His house key was one of the things in his bag so he knew he had a way back inside. 

And with that, he walked down their short driveway heading north, towards the broken bridge. Where he’d meet Sam. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I just love to tease you guys!   
> (just kidding, I love all of you!) 
> 
> As usual, comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	18. Chapter Seventeen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to show you how much I love you, you get two chapters in one night!  
> (just kidding, it was already written and I just got around to editing it as well as the previous chapter) 
> 
> Please enjoy this one as well!

**Chapter Seventeen // Gabriel**

It was just after nine-thirty when he got there. The walk took a lot more out of him than he thought. After all, your body seems to be a little tired and weak after being in a coma for two years, who would have thought? 

When the bridge had been working it wasn’t big enough to carry more than one car. It was built over a small creek that only really fills up with water in late April early May; the rainy season. There was a highway that was built on the other side of town that really took away the glamour of this little bridge, it happened a long while ago, before Gabriel’s family lived here. Over time, the bridge crumbled and fell apart and now doesn’t connect. 

There was a really wet year a few years back that took the majority of the bridge with it. Gabriel was two so he never remembers what the bridge looked like before that. 

Now there was just a large bank on the right side with more the bridge as an overhang. That’s where Gabriel walked over to, fighting the weeds and freshly awoken mosquitos. Gabriel sat down cross-legged and waited. 

And he waited. Eventually, he got tired of waiting and listening to the bigs fly around him so he pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it. He didn’t have very many games on there, should he try and text Charlie. 

Gabriel heard movement above him. It sounded like someone walking around and coming down. The boy in the dark shut his phone off and tucked it into his pocket. Gabriel had his back against the wall of the bridge, he was hidden by shadows. So when Sam came down he couldn’t see him. 

“Gabriel?” Sam called out. 

If his voice had sounded normal Gabriel would have spoken up. Sam’s voice was tight and pinched off. At first, Gabriel thought it was with anger. Was this all a setup? 

Then Sam sat down closer to the edge of the bank and let out a pained groan that ended in what sounded like a sob. Gabriel held his breath for a second, did he hear that clearly? 

“Go-ahh-d,” he moans and leans back. His right hand comes up and rubs at his ribs. He must be hurting there. Gabriel watched for only a second longer before he grabbed a rock next to him and lobbed it over to the bottom of the creek so that it made a splash. It got Sam’s attention.

“It’s just me,” Gabriel says softly. He didn’t wasn’t to startle him. “Are you okay?” 

Sam’s still laying on his back, head tilted into the dirt to look at him. They connected eyes for a second and then Sam tried to sit up. He made a noise of hurt and sat back down. Gabriel jumped up and sat next to him. 

“Where does it hurt?” Gabriel was all concern. It didn’t matter if he was supposed to hate Sam at this moment - he actually didn’t know how he felt anyways - he was all concerned. He places his left hand on Sam’s shoulder. 

“I’m good, Gabe. You don’t have to worry,” His eyes closed. 

“I don’t have to- Sam,” Gabriel leans over to look him in the eyes. “You can’t even sit up-” then he sees it, “-is that blood?” 

The left side of Sam’s face must have been cut because there was definitely blood. Gabriel grabbed the bigger man’s chin and tilted it towards him. He still couldn’t see the cut clearly. 

“Gabe…” Sam sighs. 

“No, I’m going to worry. What happened?” Gabriel reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. The flashlight on there will work just fine. He warns the other boy before flicking it on. 

In the light it’s a lot worse. His red blood is bright and thick and covering the right side of his face. Gabriel makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat at the sight, oh god. There’s so much blood. 

His noise of surprise prompts Sam to say, “It’s fine. Doesn’t even hurt that bad.” 

Gabriel tentatively places his thumb above the cut. He’s not a doctor, he has no idea what he’s even looking for. His thumb touches his heated head. Gabriel bites his lower lip and watches more blood trickle down the side of Sam’s cheek. 

Gabriel’s too distracted by the blood to notice Sam’s smile right away. But once he does he can’t help and ask, “What?” 

Sam meets his eyes, gives a small huff of a laugh and says, “You care.” 

And then Gabriel remembers. He remembers that this isn’t something he is supposed to do this. They aren’t close. In reality, he’s had only a handful of lengthy conversations with Sam and each time they ended bitterly. So how did he and Sam fall back into this? How did they get here?

With Sam lying down and Gabriel leaning over him fretting over a wound that he says is fine. How? Gabriel shouldn’t care this much. Sam is only a person that, at first, hated him, and now he- 

Gabriel’s not sure. 

“We had the same dreams, didn’t we?” Gabriel asks. His head still hovers half a foot above Sam’s, his back all bent over. Gabriel tried to not think about it all day. He knew that if he thought about it, he’d get too upset to go. 

“I’m thinking so,” Sam brushed Gabriel’s hands off of his face and struggled to sit up for a second. 

“What’s wrong with your side?” Gabriel asked. He reached down, despite Sam pushing him away earlier, and started to lift up his shirt. 

“Man, Gabe,” Sam tries to joke, “If you just wanted a look at the goods, could’a asked.” But it came out all huffed and painful-sounding so all it did was make Gabriel worry more. 

From the bottom of his ribs to the bottom of his right pec Sam is covered in bruises. Gabriel shines the phone’s light to Sam’s side. He’s sitting up now, so his shirt keeps falling down and Sam can’t hold it up without hurting himself. So Gabriel does what he thinks is the most logical. 

“Hang on,” Gabriel mutters, sets the phone down and grabs the hem of his shirt with both hands. “Hold your arms still.” Gabriel pulls up on the shirt and eases it over Sam’s shoulders. The left side, the side opposite of Gabriel, snags on his left elbow. He can’t reach it from where he’s at, so he moves his leg over Sam’s right and reaches there to grab it. The shirt comes off successfully. 

When Sam’s arms come back down Gabriel expected to go back to where he was before, by Sam’s side, not straddling his leg. He even started to rock that way, but Sam’s hands on his hips stop him. 

“What?” Gabriel asks, slightly startled. 

When he looks at Sam’s face, despite all of the blood, he looks at Gabriel with an even stare. “Tell me this is okay,” Sam whispers. “Please, I need you to be okay with this.” 

Gabriel’s shocked. Sam’s hands are huge on him, his fingers squeeze every couple of seconds in no pattern or order. They are super close now, faces inches apart, in fact. How did they get like that? Gabriel’s not so sure because the last thing he remembers he was only trying to assess the other boys’ wounds and now there’s arousal pooling low in his gut. 

“Sam..” Gabriel sighs, it triggers another hand squeeze. “What is this?” Gabriel’s whispering too. 

“I don’t- I don’t know..” Sam’s forehead clunks against his. “God, I wish I could tell you.” Sam breath puffs on his face and Gabriel can smell something sweet on his tongue like recently eaten candy. 

His hands move up and down now, rubbing at the smaller boy’s sides. “All I know,” Sam looks down at his lap, pauses, and then meets Gabriel’s eyes. “All I know is that I can’t get you out of my head.” 

Gabriel wants to kiss him. He can tell Sam wants that too. Glances keep flying to each others’ lips. But there’s still more Gabriel needs to know. They need to talk first. 

“But what about…” Gabriel doesn’t lean back and he doesn’t stop whispering, but he knows his question is going to kill the mood. “...your mom.” 

Sam begins to pull back, Gabriel doesn’t let him get that far. He scoots closer, straddles the other leg and locks his gaze with Sam’s. “I thought you hated me? For that, for what I did-”

“I already told you-” Sam tried to jump in.

“Yes, but, how can you just…” he trails off. His thoughts are all over the place. Sam’s hands start rubbing up and down his sides again.

“Just?” Sam prompts him to continue. 

“Just be so… into this?” Gabriel internally cringes at his own choice of words. He didn’t know how else to word it though. He and Sam went from hatred to weird acquaintances to friends to… this? How?

“‘Into this’?” Sam repeats. “Gabriel it's a little more than that…” 

A spark flies through Gabriel. Sam clammed up again, but the younger boy knew there was more to the story than that. He blinked at the taller guy. He wants him to say more. They really need to talk about this but Sam’s eyes keep coming to a rest on Gabriel’s mouth, it’s distracting.

“I don’t understand…” Gabriel was the one to lean back now. Gabriel’s hand came up to wipe the sweat off of his forehead and with sickening realization he saw that it was Sam’s blood. He had the urge to jerk back, to shake his hand, but he fought it down. 

Sam’s next words caused more of a reaction than the blood though, “Gabe, I’m in love with you.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love love? 
> 
> Fair warning, a little bit of angst and swearing in the next chapter. I have it half done. 
> 
> Please comment!


	19. Chapter Eighteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst... Psst... Yeah, over here! GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH YET ANOTHER CHAPTER! 
> 
> I'm so happy with myself. Guys, this is the third chapter in FOUR DAYS. I don't think I've posted this much in a long time. But, I think we are nearing the end so I'm trying to wrap it up. But as Chuck said, Endings are hard. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it. There's a bit of angst, swearing, and angry!Dean. It's fiiiiine! 
> 
>  
> 
> (*whispering* I love all of you!)

**Chapter Eighteen // Gabriel**

_Y-you what?_ Gabriel wanted to ask. _Are you crazy?_ Gabriel wanted to shout. _What do you mean? Love?_ _How do you know?_ And _me too_ he wanted to say the most. 

However, he couldn’t say anything. His breath was halted in his chest and his eyes were slammed shut. He couldn’t say or shout any of that because his mouth was busy pressed against Sam’s. How did he get there, Gabriel couldn’t really remember. But, he was a little preoccupied to try and figure it out. 

His left hand cradled Sam’s face opposite of the cut. One of Sam’s hands were still on his hip and the other was buried in Gabriel’s long hair. Their lips were moving together and Gabriel has never felt a sweeter relief. Sam’s fingers scratched at Gabriel’s scalp and triggered gooseflesh all down Gabriel’s body. It shivered down his spine with another wave, stronger this time, of arousal chasing after it.

Sam moaned against his mouth. Gabriel felt it vibrate. He grabbed Sam’s top lip between his and bit down, not hard, but enough to cause Sam to groan and pull Gabriel closer. Gabriel felt his cock in his pants twitch. God, he thought, they could just get each other off-

The move pulled at Sam’s side which caused him to groan in pain as well. Gabriel broke their lip connection and watched Sam wince. “Oh Christ, did I hurt you?” 

“No,” he huffs and Gabriel has a tough time believing him. The smaller boy tried to pull back but Sam was not a fan of that. “I swear, I am okay enough to do this.” Gabriel saw a flash of a white smile. 

And then they were kissing again. Gabriel’s hands met at Sam’s chest, he was skinny and lanky but there was definitely hard muscles there. The flannel beneath his fingers was just the right side of tough and he scratched at Sam’s nipples. 

“Gabe,” he sighed. Gabriel had made move and touched Sam intimately, now he was waiting for Sam to reciprocate. Maybe Sam’s oddly large hands will come up and squeeze his ass? Maybe he’ll start kissing down Gabriel’s neck? It wasn’t warm enough to really start losing clothes but if they could just rub against each other-

None of that happened. Two other things did though, kind of simultaneously and it freaked Gabriel out a bit. Sam’s head did lean forward, more on Gabriel’s chest than his neck which was confusing for a small moment before he kept falling backward. Right before Sam’s head hit the stiff ground underneath them Gabriel caught his head in his hands. Sam passed out and then his phone started ringing. 

“Oh Christ, oh fuck!” Gabriel swore loudly. He laid Sam’s head down as gently as he could. All remembrance of an erection gone now. His mind was clouded with concern. 

He dug Sam’s screaming phone from his front pocket.”Sam!” he tried yelling. The screen read ‘Dean’ when he flipped it open. Gabriel had enough time to think  _ fuck me _ before clicking the button to answer the call. He tentatively held the phone to his ear. 

“Sammy, where’d you go? I get home and you’re gone and dad’s pissed. Did you and him get into it again?” The small word vomit was hard to decipher at first. Did their dad do this to him? Gabriel was kind of freaking out, so he wasn’t really listening to the rest of what Dean was saying. 

“No,” Gabriel whispered. He couldn’t find a louder voice while staring at Sam’s pale and motionless face. He started to shake. 

They went from a hot and heavy make-out session to him being on the phone with Sam’s older brother who hated him. Hell, it was just six hours ago that Dean had called him garbage. 

“What the fuck? Who the fuck is this? And where the hell is my little brother?!” Dean’s tone was angry and just a bit hysterical. 

“Um, he’s right here-” 

“So put him on the phone, dammit!” Gabriel heard someone else in the background. There was a rustling noise, as if Dean covered the phone’s microphone with something, and then a pause. 

Gabriel’s left hand, not the one holding the phone, grabbed at Sam’s chin and tilted his head straight. Gabriel could feel the rise and fall of his chest between his legs. Gabriel thought that he should get off of Sam’s limp lap and the moment between thought and execution Dean’s voice was back in his ear, “You still haven’t told me who you are. And why the hell you have my brother’s phone?” 

“I-it’s Gabriel,” He kind of hated himself for the shaky voice because as much as he wanted to blame it entirely on the shock of watching Sam pass out, he knew it was also from intimidation and fear from Dean. 

“Fucking Novak?” Dean’s voice growled. 

“Yes, and I have Sam’s phone because it was ringing-” he heard Dean growl or something. “-because he just passed out.”

“What?!” Dean yelled. Or at least, he was exceptionally loud through the phone’s speaker. Gabriel didn’t flinch or anything. 

“Yes, we were just..uh, together. And he just passed out. Now he’s lying on the ground and he won’t wake up.” Dean made another noise that was hard for Gabriel to read. 

“Where are you?” it sounding like a door slamming on the other end of the phone. Gabriel’s heart sped up, a part of him didn’t want anyone else here. This was  _ their _ spot. But then he looked down at Sam’s face still half soaked in blood and he realized that Dean can help. 

“Down underneath the old Weanly Bridge,” Gabriel said. “Out on the north side of town.” His throat constricted on itself and he tried to swallow to make talking easier. 

“Have you tried to wake him up?” Dean’s voice didn’t sound so angry anymore. He heard his car start up, Gabriel recognized it as the Impala through the phone. 

“Yes, I can try again.” Before Dean told him to go ahead, he lent down and grabbed at Sam’s head again. With both hands, the phone left on the ground, Gabriel tilted his face towards himself. Sam’s eyelids twitched or fluttered a little bit that made Gabriel gasp, but then he still was unmoving. “Sam!” He yelled again. He tried shaking him a little. There was no waking him up. 

Gabriel picked up the phone again, “It didn’t work.” 

“Okay,” Dean’s voice was calm enough for Gabriel to wonder if this wasn’t the first time they’ve been in this situation. Gabriel was struggling to fight and keep down his own panic and Dean sounded like he was telling his the weather for this week. “How long has he been down?” 

Gabriel sighed and sucked in a deep breath, “Not long. You called right as he went down.” 

“Okay, is he hurt? Did something happen?” Gabriel was actually thankful for Dean’s calm. He knew that if he could hear any panic in Dean’s voice then there would be no hope for himself. 

“Umm,” Gabriel looked at the cut on Sam’s forehead again. With him laying flat it wasn't bleeding a lot, but it was still slowly dripping onto the ground. God, what if he was out from lack of blood? Should he cover it? Put pressure on the wound like they do in the movies. “There’s a cut on his face, I can’t tell how deep. There’s too much blood.” 

“Anything else? And how much is too much blood?” Dean’s car sounded louder now, like he was driving faster. Good, Gabriel wanted him to get here as quickly as possible. Without crashing, of course, Gabriel knew better than anyone how bad that was. 

“Okay, so,” Gabriel said, setting the phone between his shoulder and the side of his face. “It’s bleeding but not bad. When Sam got here he seemed fine and seemed to be favoring his right side. He winced every time he moved.” Gabriel bit his lip and kept both hands on Sam’s head. He still felt warm so that was good, Gabriel rationed with himself. And then, “Oh, God, what if he’s seriously hurt, Dean?” He slipped up for a second, let his panic bloom. He knew if he let it, it would destroy him and any sense of calm he felt.

He hadn’t meant to sound weak to Dean. He wasn’t even sure if Dean knew about him and Sam.  _ What even were you two? _ So when he got there and Sam would be all right (he had to be) Dean would start asking questions. They would have to answer him but they hadn’t even come up with answers for themselves. Christ, why had Gabriel been so stupid? Why was he more concerned with making out instead of questions and answers.

“Gabriel,” Dean’s voice was quieter. “He’s going to be fine,” it sounded like he was convincing himself more than Gabriel at this point. 

“Yeah, okay.” Gabriel had to readjust the phone before it fell, his hand coming back sticky red. “Should I try and stop the bleeding?” 

“Yes, yes!” Dean said. “That’s a good idea.” There was a pause and Gabriel didn’t really know what to do. His head felt lighter than usual and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He really hopes he doesn’t pass out too. It wouldn’t be surprising if Dean would help his brother and leave Gabriel behind. “Do you have an extra cloth or something to cover it with?” 

Gabriel forgot about being on the phone for a moment and so Dean’s voice, loud and commanding again in his ear, startled him out of whatever half zoned-out stage he had been in. “Uhhh…”  _ The sweatshirt! _ He’d brought it in case of the temperature being too low. “Yeah, I got-”

“Cover the cut with it!” 

“Okay. I’m going to go get it,” Gabriel threw the phone on the ground and jumped up, the inside of his thighs going cold without Sam’s sides not pressed against them, and ran to his bag still tucked up under the bridge. 

He dove to his knees next to it, his legs and hands sinking slightly into the mud. It wasn’t too bad, Gabriel thought, he’d rather his hands be brown than red. 

When he tried the zipper his fingers were too unsteady for a second, he couldn’t grab the little plastic part. Deep breath in, and out. He tried again and the nail on his pointer finger snagged on the plastic hoop of the zipper’s handle. 

“Come on!” he cursed himself and got the bag open. With the bulky sweatshirt came a few other items. He didn’t care though, he just wanted to get back to Sam. 

Sam, who was still lying still on the bank of the poor excuse of a creek, looked even paler. Was that right? Or did Gabriel just think he was looking sicklier and sicklier? 

He went to press the sweatshirt to the cut and stopped. What if he opens it more? Or puts too much pressure on it? He didn’t want Sam to bleed faster than he already was. Gabriel’s hands began to shake again. Fuck, why couldn’t he just sack up and press the damn thing to Sam’s head-

“Gabriel!” It was Dean yelling at him. He knew it was his voice, but it still sounded weird. It was louder and clearer. There was no way Sam’s dingy little flip phone’s speaker was that good-

“Give me that,” Dean was suddenly there and tearing the balled up sweatshirt out of Gabriel’s hands. The younger boy gasped and started to fall back and was really knocked out of the way when Dean crowded in next to Sam. Did Dean jump through the phone? Wasn’t it just two seconds ago they’d been talking on the phone?

Gabriel made an “oof,” sound when his back hit the stiff ground behind him. Was he dreaming? Or was he so scared it took him way longer to realize that Dean had finally gotten there instead of magically appearing by his side? Gabriel really needed to get his head together. Especially if he was going to be okay for Sam-

He heard Sam cough. Coughing meant consciousness, right? Gabriel sat up so fast his vision blurred a little bit around the edges. But it didn’t matter because he saw Sam. He saw Sam trying to sit up against his brother’s wishes and he saw his arm come up to press the cloth against his own forehead. God, Sam was okay. He was-

Gabriel was right next to him now. He heard Sam say his name, but Gabriel didn’t stop. He threw his arms around the bigger boy and lightly hugged him. “Oh, Sam,” Gabriel cried, muffled into his shoulder. He was on the opposite side of Sam’s bleeding wound, so the opposite side of Dean as well. 

“I’m okay,” Sam said. He leaned back enough to tilt his head, still pressing the cloth to his forehead, and looked Gabriel in the eye. They stayed like that for a second, Gabriel swears he would have kissed him there if Dean hadn’t been there. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Gabriel whispered, a little bit of a hysterical laugh bubbling up. It felt like a release of pressure, the laughing must have been contagious because shortly after his start, Sam started. When Gabriel spared to look somewhere that wasn’t at Sam, he saw a small smile gracing Dean’s mouth. 

Sam’s good hand, the one not holding Gabriel’s sweatshirt, came around to Gabriel’s side and gave his right hip a good squeeze. He felt the thrill go through him, he might not ever get over the thrills of Sam’s hands on him. And then, because Gabriel’s hands still shook from relief and his stomach was still wobbly and pinched from past fear, Gabriel didn’t care that Dean was sitting there. The older Winchester could fuck right off.

“Sam,” his voice was only uncertain for a moment. The moment was short and gone in a flash because then Gabriel sat up with the revelation streaming through his body full force. He wasn’t shy or stumbling over his words anymore because “I love you.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Gabriel saw Dean sink back to sit on his heels, his left hand coming up to scratch an imaginary itch on the back of his neck. He may have groaned? Cleared his throat? Looked away and down? Gabriel didn’t care. 

His Winchester -  _ his Sam _ \- was right there, he was there and alive. He was okay. That’s all Gabriel needed. Their lips were soft, pressed up against each other. 

Maybe it was the euphoria of being okay once again or the high they were riding at knowing each of their feelings were reciprocated by the other. They had their moment together and not even Dean’s impatient sigh a few seconds later could interrupt. 

Eventually, the older Winchester brother got up and walked back up to his car, the moment was too much for him. That was fine, it wasn’t meant for him anyways. 

It was Sam and Gabriel’s moment. After it was over, when their lips parted, if Gabriel’s eyes were a little wetter than usual, that was fine too. They didn’t acknowledge it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing this chapter, I kind of wanted it to be the end. A while ago, when I said I had the ending all planned out, this was it. It's happy, they had a little scare, and now everything's okay. I re-wrote the ending of this chapter multiple times and ending it like this just didn't seem okay. It didn't sit right with me. 
> 
> So it's not the end. 
> 
> And I'm still toying with the idea of a sequel. I don't know yet...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I can't promise to have the next update as speedy fast like usual, but I'm going to continue writing as soon as this gets posted. The last chapter got a lot of comments and I'm super excited to read every one of them! I love all of you!
> 
> (Also, I'm not sure of the line between a 'mature' and 'explicit' rating. I know there was a bit of sexy stuff in here, should I change the rating?)
> 
> One more thing, I created a Wattpad account. I've said in the past that Ao3 is my favorite, and that is still true, but Wattpad is where I will be posting a lot of my original works. So, if you really enjoy my writing, go check me out over there! I don't have much as of now, but I probably will be adding more soon.


	20. author's note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't an update, just a note.

Hello everyone!

(Just a quick apology to those who got the notification and got excited for another update. I'm working on one.)

Okay, so... Anybody else think their world has imploded from the news? _If you haven't heard, J2M announced a couple of days ago that season 15 is going to be the final one for Supernatural._ And I guess I haven't really been handling it all that well? But you don't really wanna hear about how I've been doing...

I wanna know how all of you guys are! I haven't really reached out to a lot of people about it. So this is me checking in. 

And for those of you who are casual fans and are just kind of bummed about the ending, I'm glad you are okay as well. But for those of you, like me, who Supernatural means the world to, are you sure you are okay? 

Okay, so I guess I'm gonna talk about me for a second. I haven't really been in the best mental state for a second (like, for a few years or so) and this isn't helping. My stories, however, do help. They - and you guys - mean SO much to me. When I say I love you, I fucking mean it. I'm not asking for anyone's pity, but this place, this SPNFamily is my favorite place to be. I feel like I'm okay here. When I read your guys' comments, I am so fucking proud of myself and it is a high, I swear. You guys and all of the other fans make me feel okay so I just want to check in and make sure everyone else is okay. 

If you do want to talk privately, one fan to another, please - do not hesitate - to email me at: uselessfanfictions.writing@gmail.com

 

On a different note, I mentioned this at the bottom of the last chapter, I joined Wattpad! Yeah, it's definitely not Ao3. I was just going to post all of my SPN fics on there, but my account now has a few original stories on it. Yeah, so if you really like my writing, go check out what I write away from Supernatural. 

Here's the link: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Useless_Fanfictions_

Also, I'm working on a side project that is inspired by a school assignment I had to do back in the eighth grade. It's really fun to make. They are interactive stories. So, we had to use Wix to make the website and a friend and I created this one that I am currently fixing up and about to republish. Once that is up and ready, I will come back here and add the link to that in this note.  

 

Okay, everyone. I just wanted to check in with everyone. I hope you are all living your best lives! 

~Useless_Fanfictions


	21. Chapter Nineteen // Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, guys! Thank you for all your love and understanding for my last "update." I appreciate every one of you guys. Sorry this chapter took so long, though, I hit a writer's block of sorts where the words just weren't lining up and it felt too forced. So I had to rewrite it. Anywho, here's your chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen // Gabriel**

“Come on!” Dean yelled from up the hills a ways. He was yelling at Sam because he wanted to go back home, or wherever they were going. Gabriel and Sam walked towards his pile of stuff, left from where he ripped through it trying to get his sweatshirt out. 

“What all did you bring?” Sam asked. He was standing now, his breathing was fine and Dean had gotten the bleeding to stop with a few bandages. After cleaning him up, the cut wasn’t bad at all, but the bruising underneath looked bad when Dean had shined his phone’s flashlight at him, revealing Sam’s blackening eye beneath the cut. 

Gabriel had tried to ask what had happened, why or who had hurt Sam. They wouldn’t answer. Gabriel remembers vaguely back to being on the phone with Dean and him saying something about their dad? Maybe? But he figured they had been through a lot tonight, so Gabriel would let it rest for now. 

“Just stuff I thought we might need,” Gabriel answers Sam. They walk with arms looped around each others’ waists - more like, Gabriel’s arm above Sam’s butt and Sam’s arm resting on the shorter boys’ shoulders. 

They duck under the remains of the bridge and Gabriel bends down to start picking stuff up. The sweatshirt was ruined by the blood, so Gabriel threw it in the creek when they were finished with it. He didn’t want to think about what his parents would do if they found it. Best if he just left it here. 

“Ahem,” Sam clears his throat. Gabriel looks up and wait, is that a blush staining his cheeks? Gabriel follows Sam’s line of sight and sees the thing that caused his reaction. 

Face even redder with a deeper embarrassment, Gabriel swipes up the bottle of lube that had been inches from Sam’s left foot. He can’t believe of all things to come out of the bag. Then again, he was positive lube was not on his mind when his bag got spilled.

“Sorry,” Gabriel mumbled, looking down. He shoved everything else in his bag and stood up. He wanted to just move past the taller boy and move on, so they could forget all about this situation when Sam stepped in front of him. 

“No,” he said, placing light hands on Gabriel’s shoulders, “I’m sorry.” He stepped closer, Gabriel’s neck craned up to see him. “I shouldn’t have come injured.”

Gabriel was confused for a split second. How could Sam help it? If someone attacked him, then that wasn’t his fault. Gabriel was going to voice his thoughts when Sam bent forward to his ear, his breath tickling his neck, “I wish I’d been better. Then I could have  _ performed _ .” 

Sam’s emphasis on the last word sent shivers down Gabriel’s body. His arousal had been swept away the moment he realized something was wrong with Sam, but after the tall boy whispered in his ear, his lips came afterward. The wet smacking sound as he kissed the outside of his ear - and as he continued down Gabriel’s neck alittle ways - was the cause of his cock stirring in his pants. 

“Sam,” Gabriel whisper-groaned. Dean was up there waiting for him, he wanted to say. You can’t just do this. Gabriel so did not want to have to walk home chubbed up in his pants. 

Sam laughed as he pulled away, “I will show just how much I love you.” Sam turned away, not before throwing a wink Gabriel’s way that weakened his knees a bit. Gabriel tried to give him a sour glare when Sam backed off, but instead he couldn’t resist smiling when Sam showed him his own pearly-whites. 

God, they were happy. Gabriel wasn’t sure he trusted it completely. He’s not even sure  _ what _ or  _ how _ it happened. But after their love confessions, it just was… safe to feel open. He knew that at least one person mirrored and was okay with Gabriel’s feelings. He wasn’t so sure about his family though. He’d deal with them later. Even though they both felt good, he wanted him and Sam to be a little more stable before he brought a guy home. 

“Sammy, Gabriel, let’s go!” Sam started walking back up the hill and Gabriel startled for a second. He thought he was just going to walk home? 

“Am I riding with you?” Gabriel asked Sam who was still walking away. Gabriel didn’t want to get his hopes up until he was sure that he didn’t have to walk home. Sam turns around to look at him and Gabriel can see on his face that that’s what he thought too. 

Sam’s shoulders came up in an  _ I don’t know _ gesture. He must have forgotten about his injuries because as his arms come back down he winces. 

“You idiot,” Gabriel says fondly. They both start walking up the small slope now. Dean’s there, the Impala parked haphazardly by the edge and the music blaring.

They make it up the hill and it turns out that Dean did intend to give Gabriel a ride home. Gabriel didn’t want to show his surprise, but Dean’s face revealed that he saw it anyways. Gabriel blushed and ducked into the back seat. He was going to shut the door behind him, but Sam’s hand caught it and the moose-of-a-man followed him inside. 

“It’s not that long of a ride,” Dean said. “‘Sides, you don’t live that far away anyways.” 

Sam nodded and Gabriel sat close to him. A yawn tore through the shorter boy and forced his jaw open until it aches. He released the long breath and looked away. 

Sam leaned towards him, “Tired?” 

Gabriel just shrugged. Sam’s hand grabbed his chin and angled it up to press their lips together. For a second, Gabriel forgot that the car was moving. He forgot that he was even in a car and that Dean was there and that it was late and he forgot he was tired. Kissing Sam would never dull for Gabriel, and he sure wouldn’t want it any other way. 

They parted, it was a brief kiss, and Sam guided his head to rest on the older boy’s shoulder. They clicked so effortlessly, both of them already so attuned to each other’s spaces. It was amazing. 

“It’s your stop,” was the next thing Gabriel heard. Dean announced it from the driver’s seat as they pulled into his driveway. 

His hand was tangled with Sam’s. Gabriel squeezed and let go to scoot to the door. It was cold out, but his sweatshirt was long gone now. He turned to look at Sam, wanting to lean in to kiss him again, but Dean’s stare distracted him.

He wasn’t looking at Gabriel. He was looking at the direction of his front door. Something about the look caused thick tension to poison his body as he and Sam turned to follow his gaze. 

It was Gabriel’s older brother. 

Castiel was sitting on the porch swing. Well, now he was standing and walking towards the car. Gabriel let loose a string of curses in his own head when he stood up and met his brother’s stare. He heard but didn’t see Sam move towards Sam. He felt fingers wrap into his own for a second, squeeze, and let go. Gabriel appreciated the gesture; Sam letting him know that he had his support. 

Which he needed because Gabriel was close to shitting himself right now. Castiel looked  _ beyond _ pissed. The youngest boy’s throat felt constricted, he couldn’t swallow to loosen it because his mouth has lost all its moisture. Probably went to his palms that he unconsciously wiped on his pants. 

“Cas-” Gabriel tried.

“ _ Don’t, _ ” his voice was cold. He walked around the side of the car to Dean’s side. 

Dean already had the window rolled down. “Hey,” his voice was cool. Dean was never anything but cool in all situations. Mainly because he thinks he’s above most situations. 

“No,” Cas said. “I don’t want to fight you, Dean.” Castiel rubbed a hand over his face and Gabriel could tell his brother was just tired. 

Gabriel tried to think of Castiel then. How strange it must be for him, to watch his little brother to come home with the two boys he had just been ready to fight earlier that day? There’s no way he saw Gabriel leave earlier that night, but he found out his little brother had snuck off and out of the house sometime that night. Gabriel had no idea what time it was but it felt like it was late. 

“I don’t want to fight you,” Cas repeated. “I just want you to leave me and my brother alone.” 

It was quiet for a moment. Castiel’s words echoing in everyone’s head for that moment. Gabriel was going to speak up, to tell him that he didn’t want  _ both _ Winchester boys to leave him alone. 

But Dean opened his door and got out. He stood even with Cas for a second and then leaned against his car. “If that’s what you want,” Dean said. Again, Gabriel wanted to speak up, he felt Sam tense up next to him, he wanted to as well. But then, “But you should make sure the people you are making this decision for is completely on your side.” 

They both looked at Gabriel now. Their dual stares almost made him duck back into the car and hide with Sam. He just looked at his brother. 

“Gabe?” he asked. 

Gabriel couldn’t answer. He couldn’t, even if his life was on the line. Sam pulled himself out of the car and slid to stand behind Gabriel. He felt Sam’s body heat and felt a centered calm. 

Castiel must have seen something with the two of them, “What… what?” 

“Castiel…” Gabriel mumbled. That’s as far as he could get. His voice died and he looked down at his hands, toying with a part of the inner door of the Impala. 

“Yeah,” Dean says and reaches up to scratch at his head. Castiel looks at the older Winchester now, as if he would have all the answers. “I found them earlier. Trust me, I wanted to be pissed, too.” 

Sam’s hand crept to Gabriel’s and the shorter teen is starting to think it’s more of a comfort for himself than it is for Gabriel. Which he’s completely okay with. 

“But I couldn’t be,” Dean admitted. His back was to the younger two and Castiel’s face was pale, tired, and clouded with stony emotions. “Not when I saw the way they looked at each other.” 

Castiel’s eyebrows came together at that. Was it Dean’s face or his words? Gabriel started to tremble a little, it wasn’t from the cold because he barely felt that. It was from the anticipation of Castiel’s reaction. Gabriel loved his brother, he wanted him to agree with this so much, but Gabriel knew that if he didn’t… he wasn’t going to stop loving Sam. Especially now that his feelings weren’t one-sided. 

“I don’t…” Castiel looked scared then. And then Gabriel realized something: Castiel had to have gotten used to the thought of Gabriel not pulling through. They all had. Castiel and Gabriel had been close for brothers, they did a lot together and Gabriel looked up to him. Castiel had to have gotten used to living without his little brother, and so when Gabriel finally woke up, he was  _ happy _ . 

But he also knew what it was like to lose someone. So he had to have felt a version of Sam and Dean’s pain. So he probably feared the two brothers and their vengeance against his little brother. And now, here was Gabriel parading around with them? Castiel was probably spinning in circles he was so confused right now. Again, Gabriel didn’t know what to say. 

Dean did, “Hey..” he said gently. Cas looked at the older Winchester and Gabriel remembered their history. He remembered how they had started to love each other. “I just want Sam to be happy, and if your brother makes him happy…” 

Sam stepped closer and gripped Gabriel in a semi-hug. Gabriel didn’t pull away and so they stayed like that. It was warm and comforting and he never wanted to not be touching the other boy. Sam’s thumb started rubbing circles on the back of Gabriel’s hand, it was soothing. 

“Are you guys happy?” Castiel was talking to them. He asked the question without looking at them, and when his eyes finally did flick over, and he saw how Gabriel’s head was resting against Sam’s chest and Sam’s arm came around the shorter boy’s shoulder he smiled. 

“See?” Dean said, also looking at the two of them. 

“Yes,” Gabriel spoke up. His voice was a little rough from disuse. “I’m happy.” Sam hummed his agreement in the shorter boy’s ear.

Castiel took a deep breath and held it for a second. Then he made a slow release. He was processing it, Gabriel wanted him to have all of the time he needed. 

Dean touched Cas’s shoulder, at first, the dark-haired boy flinched but then he relaxed into it. Gabriel wasn’t sure what that was, he only knew that there was still  _ something _ there between the older two. 

“It’s late,” Castiel croaked. Gabriel nodded and Dean dropped his hand. 

“He’s right,” the older Winchester piped up. He turned around and opened his car’s door, “Let’s go, Sammy.” 

Gabriel turned to the younger brother and smile, but it was small and tired. Sam nodded when they connected eyes. They would talk about this later. He wasn’t sure how much Sam knew about their brother’s being together. 

Gabriel stepped back, they hadn’t kissed goodbye because he didn’t want to risk giving his brother an aneurysm. 

The two Novaks watched the car pull out of their driveway and drive away. Then Gabriel turned to his brother and expected to get it hard now. But Castiel just shook his head, said he was too tired, and walked towards the front door. His little brother right behind him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! What did you think of Dean/Castiel/Sam/Gabriel's new relationships? Do you think Dean is starting to warm up to the Novaks and Castiel is starting to be accepting? I guess we'll find out soon!
> 
> Also, I just want to drop a warning and say I think the next chapter is going to be the last! If not then the 2nd to last. I've got the ending all planned out and I'll see if, when I write it, it turns out to be two separate chapters or not. 
> 
> Please, drop a kudos if you haven't and comment! Comment a hundred times! I don't care, I'll read them all! Thanks for reading!


	22. hey

AHHHHA I am a horrible person! I know this. 

But... I lost interest in this story and I don't know why. Like, I am trying again, to finish it. I have the ideas in my head, they are just not coming out in words on paper. So.. I want to check in and see who all is still reading. And to those who are, I want to really apologize. 

I know I've been shit at updating throughout this entire story, but I got to the last chapter and just...nothing. Like, I have 900 or something words written and I'm debating on just ending it there. Because I did have a longer ending plan, one that would lead right into a sequel. 

So I'm leaving the choice to you guys. _Do you want a quick and easy closure? Or will you guys be willing to wait a little bit longer and get a sequel?_

I am going to post this tonight, on May 25th, Saturday. And by this time next week, if nobody has commented and given me an answer, I will post the short ending and mark this fic as completed. 

Thank you to those who read this. You guys are amazing. I'm sorry I let shit get to me and it fucked up my writing. I've just lost a lot of confidence in myself lately, so I haven't written anything. Once more, I'm so sorry... 


	23. hey pt2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I originally wrote this on the last one, but I wasn't sure if you guys saw it. So here it is on a whole new chapter, I just copied and pasted.

* * *

 

 **Edit:**  Let me know if y'all get the notification for this edit. Because I want you to read this update without having to create a whole new chapter.

I said that a week after I wrote the original post I would let you guys know what's going on. So here's the update...

Are you guys ready?

Are you sure?

Here it comes...

*deep breath in*

WHO'S READY FOR A SEQUEL!?!

<3 <3 <3 <3

Okay, let me do some explaining. I've had a lot of family issues going on right now. Every day it seemed like a new thing would happen and it kept getting worse. And I'm sad to say it, but my writing got put on the back burner. And I write  _a lot_. It's what I've used to cope with emotions my entire life and for me to stop doing what I love, I realized that it really took a bigger toll on me than I had originally thought. 

I came too close to orphaning my account and just being so done with it. However, I have been writing and posting fanfictions online since I was in the sixth grade. This is not something that I could just cut out of my life. There's no way I could do that. So I posted this message and wanted to get your opinions. I really dislike when authors stop writing and don't let their readers know. And I didn't wanna put you guys through that. I wanted to give you the choice and your guys' responses really threw me back.  

I didn't check them until Thursday night, which was a horrible night for me, and I actually cried when I read them. So my initial desire was to respond to each of them, however, I just would like to tell you guys all at once. YOU GUYS ROCK!

I really don't know how else to say it. I read those comments and I was so overwhelmed by the amount of support you guys are giving me. It absolutely blew me away. So thank you so much! I cannot express how fucking grateful I am. 

Recently, I've been discovering the kindness and generosity that comes with talking to other fans of SPN. I don't know what it is, but this show and this fanbase bring out the best of people and I have been feeling so warm and loved being a part of this amazing group of people. And this is just one more wonderful example of that. Still, I am in awe. 

Honestly, I was expecting you guys to comment and answer the question, maybe a few complaints about me slowing down. And no.. that didn't happen. Instead, I got people telling me that this story is something  _I_  should be proud of and that it was my story and my choice, that they would be grateful for either one. And those answers blew me away. 

Thank you guys so much.

YOU are the reason this story is continuing. I got a lot more ideas before the ending, so I'm thinking I am coming back with quite a few more chapters. ;)

I think, to get myself back into the mood and feeling of this story, I will be going back and editing some of the earlier chapters. But I just want to give you an update on what's going on. I am doing a lot better mentally and I am so glad to say that you guys helped a lot. So thank you again. <3 


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